Having someone to help you reach the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is one of the best things about being in a relationship. But when your lover crosses the line from "supportive partner" to "therapist", it can have catastrophic results - both for the relationship, and also for your health.
In the beginning things were fine, we lived in tribes with family members. We all shared the same genes so we trusted and protected each other. The bad news about this is the bit about all being related which caused infinite mutations; some of our cousins had more fingers than needed, others had their feet growing backwards.
I liken 'Mindfulness' similar to any other new activity or skill we wish to master and bring into our life. In other words just as an instrument will not learn itself, needs practise and dedication, so does a change in our thought process. In whatever way we wish to enhance our life and well being, we have to put in the effort.
We all loose our temper from time to time; from mild frustration, irritation or annoyance, to moments of rage. Now the problem isn't getting angry but how we handle anger. What do you do when you get angry? Do you lash out and have an all out eruption? Or do you hold it in and turn the anger inwards onto yourself?
I was braving the boisterousness of Benidorm to uncover its hidden secret. A serene Mediterranean retreat, full of Eastern promise... Hidden in the foothills of Sierra Cortina - 20 minutes away from the hullabaloo of the high rise Solanas and alcopop discos - amongst 90 sprawling acres of olive and pine trees lies a perfectly manicured Mediterranean retreat.
When I met Tok, a number of very stressful occurrences were taking place in my life that had plunged me into a life-threatening bout of clinical depression. Every day was a nightmare where I yearned to kill myself, and at times I thought there was no other way out. That's what depression can do to you--it can drain any hope you have of ever recovering....
Most mornings I try to drag myself into a sitting position to practice mindfulness. I do this because if I delay and say to myself, "Later," I'll never do it. My body craves to stay prone, probably forever. But sitting up and following my breath, I can check my internal weather conditions and if I don't check in, they'll unconsciously influence everything I do in the day.
I used to genuinely believe that being happy came from having money, being slim, being in love, but I found out that was SO not the case. Happy people are not always free of doubt, on the contrary, as they do not claim to be perfect, but here's the thing they have a different mindset to other people.
Three weeks on - and thanks to a predictably complicated insurance policy - I find myself still without a mobile phone. The period of mourning has passed, as has the twitchiness of empty hand syndrome, leaving me on the other side of a techy black hole so pleasant, I'm considering quitting this mobile phone malarkey forever. Or at least for a little bit longer.
We all have that little voice in our heads. Whether you are young or old, male or female, recent graduate or CEO. It's there. It's just for some people that voice speaks so loudly to them that it clouds their judgment, erodes their confidence and ultimately prevents them negotiating as effectively as they could.
The book comes at a time of what some have described as a well-being zeitgeist. The new way of thinking seems to be a return to what could be referred to as a 'simpler' life. Is mindfulness the new avant-garde of the well-being world? Perhaps there are a number of parallels between forward thinkers in art, culture, health, spirituality and wellness.
My friend Ruth recently confessed to me that she just didn't know how to feel really happy. She wasn't depressed, she insisted, she just wasn't feeling really happy. What is happiness? I asked her. She immediately came back with, "It's a feeling. A good feeling". As our chat continued we realised that we can't wait to feel happy. Sometimes we have to do happy.