#HipsterCrimes That Would Get You Arrested By #HipsterCop

Ever since #HipsterCop took London (and the UK) by storm, it's become clear what his true calling is - taking down people who commit #HipsterCrimes like riding a fixie bike under the influence of non-organic alcohol.

Here's some of Twitter's suggestions of hipster crimes that would get you arrested by hipster cop:

Armed Snobbery #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Tara Helena (@TaraHelenaTweet) May 12, 2015

Knit and Run #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Matt DeCample (@DeCample) May 12, 2015

Domestic Vinylence
@midnight #hipstercrimes
— Wessllleeyyy Waarrdd (@WesWardComedy) May 12, 2015

@midnight Bespoking and Entering #HipsterCrimes
— Pimps on Treadmils (@sucka99) May 12, 2015

Soy veggie burgerlary #hipstercrimes @midnight
— Jonas Chartock (@jonaschartock) May 12, 2015

Assault With A Deadly Mustache #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 12, 2015

Vaping & Entering #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Ed Lee (@Spedlee4) May 12, 2015

Man Bun Slaughter #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Keating Thomas (@keatingthomas) May 12, 2015

Assault with a Deadly Whisker #HipsterCrimes @midnight pic.twitter.com/LsRIojqnRT
— Charley Kaye (@Ckandrew14) May 12, 2015

Textiling while driving #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Samantha Payton (@CakebcImdelish) May 12, 2015

Insider Fairtrading @midnight #HipsterCrimes
— Kate (@katethulhu) May 12, 2015

alt-J Walking #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Keating Thomas (@keatingthomas) May 12, 2015

And then there's the things that aren't actual crimes, but are totally faux pas for any self-respecting hipster.

Forgetting to wear knitted beanie when discussing politics while sitting outside cafe typing poetry on manual typewriter. #HipsterCrimes
— Bibs (@BibsWWPD) May 12, 2015

Sitting on your friend's ukulele when you bring your skinny latte back from the bar. #HipsterCrimes
— Trumpton Ukes (@TrumptonUkes) May 12, 2015

Unsalted caramel #HipsterCrimes
— Rick-Rack Cadillac (@irCadillac) May 12, 2015

Wearing a sarcastic t-shirt instead of an ironic one #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Alicia (@justAlicia5) May 12, 2015

Owning outdated apple products #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— mais, non (@amccoywrites) May 12, 2015

Returning vinyl to the wrong sleeve @midnight #HipsterCrimes
— Bryan Behar (@bryanbehar) May 12, 2015

Wearing a leather jacket to a vegan restaurant. #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Portmanteau Jones (@SadlyCatless) May 12, 2015

Showing up at Starbucks without your laptop #HipsterCrimes @midnight
— Daryl_Habitually (@DarylBertrand) May 12, 2015

Wearing glasses they actually need. #HipsterCrimes
— Lady A (@she_nutt) May 12, 2015

Not taking pictures of their 20$ coffee #HipsterCrimes
— Bite The Bullet (@Espeluznastica) May 12, 2015

Got any more to add before this joke goes too mainstream? Let us know in the comments or send us a typed letter on bespoke artisan free-trade paper.

SEE ALSO:
This Is The Most Hipster Video You Will Ever See
'We Want Plates' Shows Why This Hipster Food Trend Has Gone Too Far

hipsters hipster Twitter twitter jokes comedy

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