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A Fresher's Guide To Bristol University

A Fresher's Guide To Bristol University
Liam Marchant
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Congratulations, you’ve gotten in to Bristol! Welcome to an institution which has been an intellectual powerhouse for more than a century, harbouring minds as great as Angela Carter, Will Hutton, and James Blunt.

You’ll be spending the next three years bopping around a city where the pavements gleam gold with craft-cider, and where the best-dressed people are those decked out in Adidas and Nike trainers.

Once you’ve gotten used to all the hills (and the reality of your Oxbridge rejection), you’ll love it. Nevertheless, it’s easy to feel disorientated in a place where students from the home counties have swapped their Jack Wills for something called ‘Wavey Garms’, so here are a couple of pointers to help you become adjusted to the best city in the South West (who’s even heard of Bath?).

A Fresher's Guide to Bristol University
The ASS(01 of07)
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The Arts and Social Sciences Library, often referred to as ‘the ASS’ (hilarious, we know), will become a huge part of your life at Bristol. It may seem a monstrously imposing building representative of everything wrong with 1960s architecture, but inside it’s actually quite homely. The library is perfect if you’ve got an essay deadline looming over you, though spend too long working in there and you’ll morph into Jack Nicholson’s character from The Shining. (credit:epigram)
Epigram(02 of07)
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Set up in 1988 by a young James Landale, Epigram is the first port of call for student journalists. It has 13 sections including Features, Comment, Arts, Living, Sport, and is available online as well as in print. If you're interested in reviewing, get in touch with the paper's culture editors who often have free press tickets for gigs and plays around Bristol. (credit:epigram)
Q.E.D.(03 of07)
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The best sandwich shop in the world. Situated on St. Michael’s Hill, Q.E.D. is a small, unpretentious bistro which puts all of the city’s hipster coffee shops to shame. Friendly staff, low prices, and thick-bread sandwiches stuffed with the finest fillings - you’ll even want to bring your parents here. we’d recommend the goats cheese and roast veg sandwich or, if you’re feeling adventurous, ‘The Early Grave’. (credit:gifrific)
Watershed(04 of07)
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After one too many nights spent in Lizard Lounge or whatever other sweaty cesspit of a club you find yourself dragged to, you may want something more highbrow. Watershed is an independent cinema which also hosts events for the Bristol Festival of Ideas. Speakers over the past year have included Polly Toynbee, Colm Tóibín, and AC Grayling. (credit:crabchick)
The Apple(05 of07)
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A cider boat at the bottom of King’s Street, The Apple is here ready to help with all of your undergraduate drinking needs. If you want to get pissed on the cheap then go for Old Bristolian (8.4 ABV at £1 a half pint with student discount) – an evening spent drinking this stuff inevitably ends with you and your mates singing Vengaboys in West Country accents. The boat is also home to Inky Fingertips, a regular poetry slam event drawing all the city's young scribes. (credit:Walt Jabsco)
Stoke Bishop(06 of07)
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This is Bristol’s answer to Disneyland – substituting Mickey and Pluto for puking undergraduates. There are six halls of residence in Stoke Bishop, each with its own stereotype: Durdham is boring, Badock is edgy, Wills is posh, Churchill wants to be posh, Hiatt Baker is standard, and University Hall is unfortunately nicknamed ‘Sainsbury’s Basics’. You’d have thought that such infantile clichés would be beyond university students who recognise that putting people into boxes is reductive. But hey, what does that matter when it’s just top banter? (credit:Bristol University)
Stokes Croft(07 of07)
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The heart of darkness itself; that unspeakable place to which so many students have ventured never to return the same. Rumour has it that a thousand years ago the first settlers in Bristol believed this area was haunted by an evil spirit called ‘Lakota’. Travellers passing through found themselves possessed by some malign force which made their beards grow long and caused them to speak in tongues, howling incomprehensibly about ‘artisan coffee’ and ‘vintage clothing’. Approach with care. (credit:Walt Jabsco)
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