I distinctly remember being about nine or ten and mentioning to a teacher, who asked me why I was crying, that I was being bullied. They told me that I wasn't being hit so it couldn't be bullying. It was, unfortunately, something that really stuck with me but at the time struck be as being completely wrong. I didn't understand that, despite being told by another teacher, bullying was wrong but in the eyes of someone more senior... it wasn't a thing. It took me a long time to realise that during times at school when I was excluded by people who I considered as friends or teased or generally picked on; that it wasn't due to there being something inherently wrong with me but that I was being bullied.
I really lacked self-confidence and had low self-esteem. I don't think it was the sole cause for me developing mental health problems, but I do wonder if it was something that challenged my sense of self enough to be a contributing factor. It's strange, but it feels like it was such a long time ago and of course I have found a way to find closure on what happened. I hope it's enabled me to have a greater awareness and empathy for the young people I work with who are experiencing bullying in many different forms at the moment.
According to statistics from Anti-bullying Alliance;
'nearly two thirds of young people reported that they were bullied at school; 44% say it impacted on their mental health, over 57% said that being bullied caused them to change their behaviour and 43% experienced body image problems and 46% had long term effects on their self esteem.'
This week is Anti-bullying week 2015 and the theme is 'Make a Noise' about bullying. Perhaps the way to make real changes to stop bullying is to make small changes to our perceptions of it. Thankfully things have changed since I was a young child being told that bullying stereotypes were true and being made to feel completely invalidated about the struggles I was having. I believe that no child, young person or adult should ever have to tolerate or 'put up' with being bullied. We live in a time where I do believe; with the right education and awareness, bullying to be made to be seen as wholly unacceptable. If as a society we no longer tolerate bullying, perhaps we can start to see changes in people's attitudes towards it. It may seem like a bit of a far fetched idea but working with young people inspires me, their level of acceptance is already so impressive that with a little encouragement perhaps we could start to see proper long lasting change.
I hope that by sharing my story and helping prompt the start of a conversation about bullying, other people may feel empowered to share their own story or make an effort to not turn a blind eye to bullying. One of the greatest maintaining factors of silence, making others aware of what's going on and seeking support can enable individuals to get through being bullied.