They're very fast. When they want to be.(01 of10)
Open Image Modal"Come on QUICKLY please! We're really late.”
Child goes into slow motion mode. Or worse, bends double, hangs arms to floor, and goes into robot-which-has-lost-power mode. (credit:Elizabethsalleebauer via Getty Images)
They have a lot of questions. When they remember them.(02 of10)
Open Image Modal“Mummmy…?”
“Yes, darling?”
“…Mummmyyyy?
“Yes, darling what is it?”
“………Mummmmmmyyyy?”
“YES?! What do you want?!”
Child exits room. (credit:Elizabethsalleebauer via Getty Images)
They have amazing attention spans.(03 of10)
Open Image Modal“Mummy, PLAY HIDE SEEK! Pleeeeease!”
“Okay, you count, I'll hide.”
Ten minutes later, emerge from behind kitchen door to find child has forgotten all about hide and seek and is looking at a book. (credit:Jamie Grill via Getty Images)
They're good at finding things.(04 of10)
Open Image Modal“Please go and get your shoes.”
Child returns five minutes later. With a place mat. (credit:oneblessedmama via Getty Images)
They're always careful with your things.(05 of10)
Open Image Modal“Mummy, this your glasses?”
“Yes you know you're not supposed to touch…”
SNAP! ?#@*&%!!! (credit:Judith Wagner Fotografie via Getty Images)
They know exactly what they want.(06 of10)
Open Image ModalIn the supermarket. “Mummmy? I need a weeeee.”
“But you had a wee before we came out.”
“Need a WEEEEEEEEE!”
Ten minutes later, shopping abandoned, supermarket traversed, cubicle awaited, trousers/pants removed, child balanced on toilet.
“So? Are you going to do a wee?”
“No.” (credit:Westend61 via Getty Images)
They love eating broken biscuits.(07 of10)
Open Image Modal“Mummmy? Biscuit please?”
Hand over packet of biscuits with instruction to take just one. Child drops packet of biscuits twice.
“Not this one, iss broken. Not this one, iss broken. Not this one, iss broken. Not this one, iss broken…” (credit:christie.nelson)
They have limitless energy.(08 of10)
Open Image Modal“Swings, mummy! Swings, mummy! SWINGS, MUMMY!”
Concede child needs fresh air and exercise. Dress child appropriately. Attach child's coat. Attach child's wellies. Ensure child has a wee. Pack essential snacks and juice. Put on own coat and shoes… discover child asleep on sofa. (credit:Jill McAdoo Photography via Getty Images)
They never change their minds. Ever.(09 of10)
Open Image Modal“Mummy? Make scramble egg?”
Spend 15 minutes helping child break eggs and stir them VERY slowly until partially mixed. Wipe egg off all kitchen surfaces. Spend 15 minutes helping child stir eggs in warm pan until eggs are massively overcooked.
“Right, time to eat your scrambled egg!”
“Want CocoPops.” (credit:Paz Ruiz Luque)
They show you their love all the time.(10 of10)
Open Image ModalExit lounge to go to the loo. Return to find entire room covered in flour. Recognise hysteria bubbling up through torso at sight of completely white child/sofa/carpet…
“I luff you, mummy!”
Deeeeep breath.
"I love you, too.” (credit:Liam Norris via Getty Images)