Intrusive Parents Make Kids More Anxious, Study Suggests

'Parents may set unrealistically high expectations on their children.'

Intrusive parents are being urged to take a step back as their constant involvement could make their children more anxious.

A study has suggested the style of parenting in which mums and dads pay extremely close attention to a child's experiences and problems, known as 'helicopter parenting', results in kids being afraid to make mistakes.

In the study, published online in the Journal of Personality, researchers from the National University of Singapore (NUS) found 60% of children who had this type of parent were more likely to be self-critical.

Researchers also found 78% of those children showed signs of "socially-prescribed" perfectionism, described as a "rejection of personal flaws based on the expectations of society".

“Our findings indicate that in a society that emphasises academic excellence, which is the situation in Singapore, parents may set unrealistically high expectations on their children," said Assistant Professor Ryan Hong, who led the study at the NUS.

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"As a result, a sizeable segment of children may become fearful of making mistakes," Professor Hong continued.

"Also, because they are supposed to be ‘perfect’, they can become disinclined to admit failures and inadequacies and seek help when needed, further exacerbating their risk for emotional problems."

In the study of 263 seven-year-olds between 2010 and 2014, researchers gave each child a puzzle to complete within a time limit. 

Parents were given instructions and told they could help at any time. Those parents who did intervene were assessed for more controlling traits.

The children of parents who intervened were found to be more likely to be fearful of making mistakes. 

Dr Hong said when parents become intrusive in their children’s lives, it may signal to the child that what they do is never good enough.

As a result, the child may become afraid of making the slightest mistake and will blame himself or herself for not being ‘perfect’.

He added: "Over time, such behaviour, known as maladaptive perfectionism, may be detrimental to the child’s wellbeing as it increases the risk of the child developing symptoms of depression, anxiety and even suicide in very serious cases."

Following on from the study, the researchers at the NUS gave some guidance for parents who may feel they fall in this category

Professor Hong explained: “One small practical tip might be the way we ask our children about their academic performance. For instance, instead of asking: 'Did you get full marks on your test?' Parents can try asking: 'How did you do on your test?'"

Professor Hong also advised that if a child did not do as well as expected in a test, parents should refrain from blaming the child for not performing up to expectations. 

In April 2016, Dr Abilash Gopal, an inpatient adolescent psychiatrist, said "overparenting" is "robbing children of the opportunity to learn how to function independently in the real world".

"If we continue to overparent our kids, we are in danger of raising further generations of adolescents that are missing three key virtues of character: self-reliance, self-confidence, and resilience," he told The Huffington Post

"The coddled child becomes the entitled teenager.

"The teen who expects his parents to fix his problems becomes the college student who demands that professors and administrators remove his obstacles."

This Is How Bad It Is To Be A Young Person With Mental Health Issues In 2016
Nearly a quarter of children and young people are being turned away by providers(01 of09)
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Child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS) are turning away nearly a quarter (23%) of all children and young people referred to them for help by parents, GPs, teachers and others.

This was often because their condition was not deemed serious enough or suitable for specialist mental health treatment.
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You might not be able to access specialist support if your BMI isn’t low enough(02 of09)
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CentreForum noted that in some cases, support for anorexia was denied unless a young person was under a certain BMI threshold. (credit:Donald Iain Smith via Getty Images)
You might not be able to get specialist support if you’re hearing voices(03 of09)
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Criteria in one area suggested those “hearing voices in the context of mild anxiety, low self-esteem or low mood” should see their GP or voluntary sector counselling service and only be referred to CAMHS if they “heard voices that command particular behaviours”. (credit:H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock via Getty Images)
You might not be able to access specialist support if you've only expressed suicidal thoughts once(04 of09)
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CentreForum found one CAMHS would refer people to more generic support unless they had “enduring suicidal ideation” (i.e. they had felt they wanted to commit suicide on more than one occasion). (credit:Jacques LOIC via Getty Images)
You might not be able to get specialist support if your condition hasn't reached a high level of severity(05 of09)
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In some areas, referrals were not accepted unless the young person's condition was “having a major impact on the child’s life such as an inability to attend school or involving a major breakdown in family relationships”. (credit:Arvydas Kniuk?ta via Getty Images)
Maximum waiting times for services have more than doubled in the last two years(06 of09)
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CentreForum's analysis of NHS Benchmarking data found that the average of the maximum waiting times for all providers has more than doubled since 2011/12. (credit:Hero Images via Getty Images)
Maximum and average waiting times vary greatly(07 of09)
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Respondents reported maximum waiting times ranging from four weeks to over two and a half years. The average of these longest waiting times for each service was nearly 10 months for treatment to begin.

Average waiting times for different providers also varied widely, from two weeks in Cheshire to 19 weeks in North Staffordshire. The average waiting time in Gateshead is five times as long as for those in nearby Tyneside. Similarly, waits in London vary widely from two months in Kensington and Chelsea to nearly six months in neighbouring Brent.
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There were also 'hidden waits' concealed in average waiting times(08 of09)
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CentreForum has uncovered that the median of the maximum waiting times for all providers was 26 weeks (6 months) for a first appointment and nearly ten months (42 weeks) for the start of treatment.

Some providers did not even measure waiting times at all, meaning that some patients could even be waiting longer than this.
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Where you live can affect how much is spent on your treatment(09 of09)
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CentreForum’s analysis of regional expenditure on mental health also revealed a North/South divide, with northern regions spending more on services while capacity problems exist in the South. (credit:Sverrir Thorolfsson Iceland via Getty Images)

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