Mum Explains Why She Always Asks For Her Son's Permission Before She Lifts Him Up

A mum has explained why she never lifts up her son without first asking him for permission.

Nisha Moodley, a woman’s leadership coach in the US, believes that children should make their own choices about their bodies.

Sharing a selfie of herself and her son on 9 June, she wrote: “Since the moment he was born, we’ve always asked before we pick him up. I always feel for his: ‘Yes’.

“Why? Because we want him to know that his body is his, and that others’ bodies are theirs, and no one gets to make choices about someone else’s body.”

Moodley explained that if an adult ever wants to hold someone else’s child or baby, they should ask the parent first and then the child.

She added: “It always touches my heart when someone takes a moment to connect with him and says: ‘Can I hold you, dude?’”

Many parents responded to the mum’s post in agreement.

“I love that you are always exploring how to raise a conscious human,” one person wrote. “Such an important practice to begin the embodiment of body sovereignty from an early age.

“Helping instil the values that a child’s body is their own is one of the most important gifts we can give our children.”

Another wrote: “This is a great idea. I have always asked babies before I pick them up but totally instinctually and never realised I did it before reading this post. Thank you.”

Others felt her post went “too far”, with one commenter writing: “Millions of parents over many hundreds of years didn’t all ask permission to pick up their newborn and believe it or not most turned out rather fine I’m sure.”

Sarah Ockwell-Smith, a parenting author, has alluded to a similar notion of giving children “choice” when writing about not making children hug or kiss relatives.

“When your child grows up, would you like them to have a strong sense of body autonomy?” she wrote in a HuffPost UK blog.

“Would you like them to not feel scared to say ‘no’ if somebody touched them in a way they didn’t like?

“It is forcing a child to do something with their body against their will. Why should children show respect to adults when adults rarely show them respect in return?”

What do you think? Comments below, please.

Before You Go

7 Fun Creative Craft Projects For Toddlers

Make a crown fit for a prince or princess(01 of07)

Wrap bendable card around your child's head, take the measurement and trim off the excess card. Next, cut the card into a crown using a zigzag or get creative and try sticky-up hair or a favourite animal’s head or ears. Now it's your toddler's turn to decorate the card with felt tip pens, paint and glued-on bits of paper. Once they’re done staple the short sides together to create the crown. This is a great craft project for a play date. (credit:Matelly via Getty Images)

Make a car for whacky races(02 of07)

Large cardboard boxes are just begging to be transformed into cars. Glue paper plates to the side as wheels and let your child's imagination roar. They may want to draw in people and make a bus or add windscreens and doors but let them take the driving seat. (credit:patrickheagney via Getty Images)

Make a mask(03 of07)

Make masks with paper plates, hole punched on either side and threaded with elastic to fit your child's head. Your toddler can create whatever face they like using pens, paint, cut up tissue paper for hair and pipe cleaners for whiskers. (credit:igor kisselev, www.close-up.biz via Getty Images)

Make a model with modelling clay(04 of07)

Toddlers love squishing, rolling and moulding play dough with different shaped cutters and their hands. Keep your homemade play dough in a sealed container or mix up a new batch with this super simple recipe: 3 cups of flour; 2 tablespoons of cornflour, 1 cup of salt, 1 cup of cold water and 2 teaspoons of vegetable oil. Your toddler will love mixing up the ingredients. Divide your dough and choose different food colourings. Note: The salt content of homemade play dough is very high - keep an eye on your toddler to make sure they don’t eat any. (credit:Westend61 via Getty Images)

Do some potato printing and finger painting(05 of07)

Halve a few potatoes and cut out shapes of stars, circles, letters or animals (whatever your child asks you to do). Then, dip the cut out potato half into washable, brightly coloured poster paint and it's time for some stamping fun on plain paper. Hand printing is lots of squelchy fun too (and you'll have a lovely record of just how little their hands were). (credit:Michaela Gunter via Getty Images)

Make some binoculars or a telescope(06 of07)

This couldn't be simpler: after your toddler has painted two cardboard tubes the colours of their choice, tape them together for a pair of binoculars. A single longer roll (from your kitchen towel) makes a great pirate's telescope too. (credit:Chris Stein via Getty Images)

Make some silly glasses(07 of07)

Cut out a pair of glasses in plain cardboard. Stick coloured cellophane into the holes as lenses and let your toddler paint them in bright, funky colours. Once the paint is dry, provide a selection of sparkly bits and pieces to decorate: think sequins, buttons, self-adhesive spots, even pasta shapes. Now your toddler is ready for a super-cute photo opportunity. Note: Ensure your toddler is supervised at all times as small objects like sequins and buttons are choking hazards. (credit:Westend61 via Getty Images)