Rape Survivor Opens Up About Why She's Stopped Blaming Herself In Powerful Video

Rape Survivor Opens Up About Why She's Stopped Blaming Herself
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Sheeva Weil was raped during her first term at university and spent years asking herself what she could have done to prevent it.

In the powerful video above she explains why she's finally decided to stop blaming herself.

"It took me a really long time to recognise what had happened to me and even longer to understand that I hadn't done anything to deserve it," she says.

"In fact, it's taken me almost four years, a diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder, depression, and three therapists to get to the point where I can say with conviction that I was not to blame for what happened that night."

Weil says one thing that was particularly hard for her to comes to term with was the fact that she didn't scream and run or turn and fight her attacker.

"When they teach you about the fight or flight response, they forget to mention the third automatic physiological reaction - freeze," she says.

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Weil explains that the technical term for freezing under pressure is tonic immobility. It's when your brain calculates the risks and decides that the safest option is to play dead. You have absolutely no control over the stillness of your body.

"Studies show that 37-52% of sexual assault survivors report feeling paralysed. I wish I had known that when I was busy blaming myself for not preventing my rape," she says.

Weil didn't tell her friends that she had been raped for a long time but has recently opened up to some about her experience. She was surprised to hear that many of them have also experienced sexual assault in the past.

Some have been molested by friends, others have been raped by boyfriends, but none of them have reported the incident and few have been to therapy.

"It's seriously shocking the most women, let alone men, still feel too guilty and ashamed to speak about their trauma," she says.

"I'm not ashamed anymore and no other survivor should have to be."

8 Dumb Comments About Rape Made By Powerful Men
Ken Clarke (01 of09)
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Tory big beast Ken Clarke faced calls for his resignation following comments he made about rape sentencing policy. The then Justice Secretary was speaking to BBC 5 Live in 2011 when he appeared to suggest date rape is not always “rape”. Addressing presenter Victoria Derbyshire, he said: “Assuming that you and I are taking about rape in the ordinary conversational sense, some man has forcefully…”In this full transcript provided by the BBC, Derbyshire interjected with: “Rape is rape,” to which Clarke replied: “No it’s not.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Rick Santorum (02 of09)
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In 2012 GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum explained his opposition to abortion even in cases of rape in an interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan. He said that women who face such circumstances should “make the best of a bad situation”. When asked what he would say if his own daughter approached him, begging for an abortion after being raped, he explained he would counsel her to “accept this horribly created” baby because it was still a gift from God, even if it was given in a “broken” way. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
George Galloway (03 of09)
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George Galloway ignited fierce debate in 2012 over comments he made relating to the sex crime allegations against WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange. On his podcast Good Night with George Galloway, posted on YouTube, he said: “It might be really sordid and bad sexual etiquette, but whatever else it is, it is not rape or you bankrupt the term rape of all meaning.” Swedish prosecutors wish to question Assange on suspicion of offences of unlawful coercion, sexual molestation and rape. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Roger Helmer (04 of09)
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In 2011 UKIP candidate Roger Helmer blogged his opinion that there are distinctions between “date” and “stranger” rape. “Rape is always wrong, but not always equally culpable,” he wrote. With reference to “stranger” rape, he said: “… the victim surely shares a part of the responsibility, if only for establishing reasonable expectations in her boyfriend’s mind.” (credit:Matt Cardy via Getty Images)
Alan Pardew(05 of09)
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In 2009 then BBC football pundit Alan Pardew, now coach of Newcastle United, was forced to issue an apology after he compared a tackle by Chelsea’s Michael Essien to a rape on Match of the Day. Essien had collided with City’s striker Ched Evans when Pardew said: “He’s a strong boy. He knocks him off." As Alan Hansen interjected with “he mauls him”, Pardew added: "he absolutely rapes him." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Graeme Swan (06 of09)
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In 2013 England spinner Graeme Swann said sorry after comparing the third Ashes Test loss to Australia as being “arse raped” Swann made the comments on Facebook during an exchange with his brother hours after England’s loss. He took to Twitter to apologise: “Sorry to anyone who was offended by my comments in the papers today. Crass and thoughtless of me in the extreme.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Demetri Marchessini(07 of09)
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In May UKIP Donor Demetri Marchessini argued there was no such as thing as marital rape, claiming: “If you make love on Friday and make love on Sunday, you can’t say Saturday is rape.” When asked whether UKIP should be taking cash from a donor with such repellent views, leader Nigel Farage replied: “Possibly not.”
Judge Derek Johnson (08 of09)
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California judge Derek Johnson was publicly admonished in 2012 for suggesting a rape victim “did not put up a fight” and that if someone truly doesn’t want to have sex, their body “will not permit that to happen.” Judge Johnson made his comments during a case where a man threatened to mutilate the face and genitals of his former girlfriend with a heated screwdriver. In documents published on the Californian Commisson on Judicial Performance, he is recorded as saying: “I'm not a gynecologist, but I can tell you something - if someone doesn't want to have sexual intercourse, the body shuts down. The body will not permit that to happen unless a lot of damage is inflicted, and we heard nothing about that in this case.”
Todd Aikin (09 of09)
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Failed Republican Senate candidate Todd Akin suggested in 2012 that victims of “legitimate rape” don’t need the option of abortion because they “rarely” become pregnant. He later apologised. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)