Can we talk about how difficult dating can be sometimes? Of course, there’s an element of fun when you’re dating, but it can also be quite confusing. The dating world is riddled with norms, some that are unspoken and others that are quite obvious.
So much so that new research from Match reveals that over half (51%) of singles feel as though they must conform to a “norm” when it comes to dating.
These norms exists on and offline, when it comes to online dating, 34% say they carefully curate their profile to what they think people will be interested in, and 38% confess to toning down their personalities, out of fear of judgement or rejection.
In fact, 15% of singles admitted to appearing more laid back on a date than what they are in reality. A further 14% have wanted to complain in a restaurant or bar while on a date, but were worried about appearing confrontational.
Many Brits are fast texters, as 22% of us reply to a date’s text within ten minutes of receiving it. However, due to the fear of looking too keen, 14% hold back and play it cool, by waiting up to two hours to reply.
Do you like to plan dates or would you rather have someone plan the date for you? Well, one in 10 people don’t want to come off too assertive, so they let their date pick the venue, even though they normally love to have full control of the plans.
The same proportion even turned up late to a date, so they didn’t look too keen, even though they’re always punctual.
Other traits that were also causing hesitancy amongst singes were things like financial status, the sound of their voice, and fashion sense. Additionally, singles waited until at least date number five before revealing these parts of themselves to a potential partner.
But singles’ self-doubt also has them second-guessing what “normal” behaviour is and how to not appear too keen – which could potentially be seen as off-putting.
Hayley Quinn, dating expert for Match says thinks it’s better to be yourself so it’s easier to connect with people. “However, it can be hard to hold onto this confident mindset, when you feel like things haven’t worked out in the past,” Quinn says.
“Whilst it might be tempting to conform on your dates to trying to be the most attractive ‘version’ of yourself, the irony is people shine most when they communicate more (not less) of who they really are,” Quinn adds.