Woman Uses Lifelike Dolls To Deal With Pain Of Stillbirth, Then Told To 'Kill Herself' In Cruel Online Taunts | HuffPost Life

Woman Eased Pain Of Stillbirth With Lifelike Dolls, Is Trolled Online

Amy Packham— The Huffington Post UK

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A woman who has turned to dolls to help her deal with her stillborn son has opened up about the online trolls calling her "creepy" and "weird".

Sabrina McKenna, 35, from Northern Ireland had a stillbirth three years ago and bought two reborn dolls, having one made to look like her son, Jamie.

A reborn doll is a manufactured vinyl doll that has been made to resemble a human baby - with as much realism as possible.

The woman argued these lifelike replicas of babies help ease the the pain of losing her Jamie, especially as she has been unable to conceive since.

McKenna told the Mail Online: "My reborns made me happier than I had been since my son died. Being able to hold them in my arms helped me fill that empty arm feeling that only a mother who has lost a child will understand."

Sabrina McKenna with her two reborn dolls, named Lily and Jay

The 35-year-old said cruel taunts online which have told her to "take her own life" and "kill herself" have been awful to read.

She said she is not hurting anyone, so does not understand why people are wishing her dead.

McKenna added: "I cannot tell you how much they have helped ease my pain and suffering while I mourn for Jamie and wait for doctors to tell me why I have not been able to conceive since he died."

McKenna said she spent years trying to conceive with her partner, and finally fell pregnant when she was 31.

However, at her 32-week scan, the doctors failed to find a heartbeat.

She gave birth to her son, Jamie, and took him home for one night before his funeral.

The months after, McKenna battled depression and split with her partner.

She has previously spoken out about how she began to buy toys for Jamie to try and feel closer to him, giving her a small feeling of comfort.

Sabrina McKenna with the body of baby Jamie

SEE ALSO:
We Need To Talk About Miscarriage
Pregnancy After Miscarriage: It's Okay to Get Excited

In April this year, McKenna started thinking about buying a reborn doll to help ease her pain.

She added: "I’d seen them on Facebook and thought they were beautiful. Up until then I wasn’t even able to go near friend’s babies because it was too upsetting for me."

McKenna paid £110 for a doll painted and weighted to look and feel like a real baby and called her Lily, and later asked to buy a boy reborn made to look like Jamie.

She said there were "tears of joy" holding him, remembering what it was like to hold her son.

Although initially posting the photos online was met with support, she soon started receiving abusive messages from strangers.

After being told she should "kill herself" from a stranger on Facebook, McKenna took the dolls back.

However she said she missed them when they weren't there and recently brought them back home.

Mckenna added: "Why should I have to give up something that brings me joy just to please others?

"I wish I could hold a real baby and dress a real baby but I cannot so please don’t bully me for finding comfort in reborns."

Celebrities Who’ve Opened Up About Miscarriage

Beyoncé(01 of15)

Before Beyoncé had her daughter Blue Ivy, she experienced a miscarriage. The “Single Ladies” singer didn’t discuss her loss until two years after the fact, admitting it was “the saddest thing I've ever been through.” In her 2013 HBO documentary, the Grammy winner said: “About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time and I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life. I picked out names, I envisioned what my child would look like... I was feeling very maternal. I flew back to New York to get my check up — and no heartbeat. Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat. I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life. It was the best form of therapy for me.”Beyoncé and Jay-Z now have a daughter named Blue, who is 3 years old. (credit:Instagram)

Courteney Cox(02 of15)

Before Courteney Cox had her daughter Coco with ex-husband David Arquette, she had multiple miscarriages. The “Friends” star previously told People, “I get pregnant pretty easily, but I have a hard time keeping them.” Cox’s daughter Coco is now 11 years old. (credit:Twitter)

Eva Amurri Martino(03 of15)

In August 2015, Susan Sarandon’s daughter Eva Amurri Martino revealed she suffered a miscarriage while pregnant with her second child. She was nine weeks pregnant at the time. “I am sharing in the hopes that we can be a light for people going through similar circumstances, and to remind myself and others that there is no shame in voicing our heartbreaks and allowing others to comfort us,” she wrote on her blog. The 30-year-old actress and her husband Kyle Martino are parents to a 1-year-old daughter named Marlowe. (credit:Instagram)

Celine Dion(04 of15)

In the past, the Canadian singer has been incredibly vocal about her struggles to conceive. Before she became pregnant with her twins Eddy and Nelson via IVF, Dion suffered a miscarriage.“I never gave up,” she said. “But I can tell you that it was physically and emotionally exhausting.”Dion’s twins are now 4 years old and her eldest son René-Charles is 14. The 47-year-old had her three kids with husband René Angélil. (credit:Twitter)

Mark Zuckerberg(05 of15)

In July, Mark Zuckerberg used his baby announcement to share an important message about miscarriage. In a Facebook post, the site founder revealed that his wife Priscilla Chan had suffered three miscarriages.“It's a lonely experience,” the 31-year-old wrote. “Most people don't discuss miscarriages because you worry your problems will distance you or reflect upon you – as if you're defective or did something to cause this. So you struggle on your own.“In today's open and connected world, discussing these issues doesn't distance us; it brings us together. It creates understanding and tolerance, and it gives us hope.”Zuckerberg and his wife are currently expecting a baby girl. This will be their first child together. (credit:Facebook)

Lindsay Lohan(06 of15)

In March 2014, Lindsay Lohan revealed she had a miscarriage while filming her OWN docuseries. “I cried so many times watching [the show],” the actress said. “If I know I’m not capable of being on, that’s why I would say I couldn’t film today. No one knows this... I had a miscarriage for those two weeks that I took off.”“I couldn’t move. I was sick,” she continued. “And mentally that messes with you.” (credit:Instagram)

Lily Allen(07 of15)

Lily Allen has suffered two miscarriages, but her second hit her the hardest. In November 2010, the singer was six months pregnant when she lost her baby with husband Sam Cooper. Describing the experience, she said: “It was horrendous and something I would not wish on my worst enemy.”Reflecting on what she learned from the experience, she said, “What I took home from that experience was… I was very fortunate in the sense that I have a loving partner to go home to and share that experience with.”Allen and Cooper now have two daughters: Ethel Mary, 4, and Marnie Rose, 2. (credit:Instagram)

Brooke Shields(08 of15)

Brooke Shields had a miscarriage before she gave birth to her daughters Rowan and Grier. Speaking about her experience, she said, “We were crushed. Up till then, I thought simply because it was time and I wanted to have a baby, it would work.”The actress had both daughters with husband Chris Henchy. Rowan is now 12 and Grier is 9. (credit:Instagram)

Hugh Jackman(09 of15)

Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness had a long struggle with infertility. The couple underwent a number of IVF treatments only to have them end in miscarriage.“It is a difficult time,” the “X-Men” star said. “The miscarriage thing — apparently it happens to one in three pregnancies — but it’s very, very rarely talked about. It’s almost secretive. But it’s a good thing to talk about. It’s more common and it’s tough, there’s a grieving process you have to go through.”Today the couple has two kids, Oscar, 15, and Ava, 10, who they adopted. In 2012, the actor revealed that adoption was always part of their plan. “To be clear, Deb and I always wanted to adopt,” he said. (credit:Instagram)

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon(10 of15)

Mariah Carey suffered a miscarriage before she famously had Dem Babies, Monroe and Moroccan, with her then-husband Nick Cannon. Opening up about her experience, she said: “It kind of shook us both and took us into a place that was really dark and difficult. When that happened… I wasn’t able to even talk to anybody about it. That was not easy.”The news of the miscarriage came just before Christmas in 2008. Looking back, Cannon said, “It was emotional for both of us and that’s when I saw the strength. [Mariah] handled it so well and then to get on the plane and have to spend Christmas with friends and family, it definitely brought us closer together. It strengthened our relationship so much… she handled it so well.”Twins Monroe and Moroccan are now 4 years old. (credit:Instagram)

Gwyneth Paltrow(11 of15)

In 2013, Gwyneth Paltrow revealed she miscarried her third child, but did not indicate when this occurred. At the time, Paltrow and ex-husband Chris Martin were already parents to two kids: Apple and Moses. In an interview with Mail on Sunday’s You magazine, the actress said: “My children ask me to have a baby all the time. And you never know, I could squeeze one more in. I am missing my third. I’m thinking about it.“I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third. It didn’t work out and I nearly died. So I am like, ‘Are we good here, or should we go back and try again?’” (credit:Instagram)

Nicole Kidman(12 of15)

Nicole Kidman had a miscarriage during her famous marriage to Tom Cruise in the 90s. Years later, the actress revealed, “From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies. And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that's when we would adopt Bella.” Kidman and Cruise went on to adopt two kids, Isabella and Connor, who are now young adults. The “Paddington” star also has two kids with husband Keith Urban: Sunday Rose, 7, and Faith, 4. (credit:Twitter)

Pink(13 of15)

In November 2010, the Grammy winner revealed on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” that she had suffered a miscarriage before becoming pregnant with her daughter Willow. That’s why she held off on officially announcing her pregnancy. “I was just really nervous,” she said. “I have had a miscarriage before.”Pink had her daughter with husband Carey Hart in 2011. Willow is now 4 years old. (credit:Twitter)

Emma Thompson(14 of15)

Emma Thompson suffered a miscarriage in 1997. Two years later, the actress welcomed her daughter Gaia with husband Greg Wise. Gaia was conceived through IVF. Although the couple wanted to have more children, subsequent IVF attempts failed. Regarding her experience, the “Saving Mr. Banks” star said: “There’s been an awful lot of grief to get through in not being able to get pregnant again, but there are thousands and thousands of women like me who can’t have children.”Besides 15-year-old Gaia, Thomspon and her husband also have a son, 28-year-old Tindyebwa Agaba, who they adopted in 2003. (credit:Twitter)

Kirstie Alley(15 of15)

Former “Cheers” star Kristie Alley only had one pregnancy and miscarried when she was 3 months along. In her 2005 book, the actress claimed her miscarriage was the reason behind her weight gain. “When the baby was gone, I just didn’t really get over it. Neither did my body,” she wrote. “I so thoroughly convinced my body that it was still pregnant after nine months that I had milk coming from my breasts. I was still fat, I was still grieving, and I had just been told it was very possible I would never be able to have children. Fat, childless, with little hope for any future children…that’s when I began to get fat.”Alley went on to adopt two kids with ex-husband Parker Stevenson. William is now 22 and Lillie is 20. (credit:Instagram)

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