Six Things To Know If You Are A Young Mum Struggling With Your Mental Health | HuffPost Life

Do you know the 'Red Flag' symptoms to watch out for?

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Life editor at HuffPost UK

Mums of all ages can struggle with their mental health, but NHS Digital figures show young mums under 20 are most likely to be affected.

Statistics released in October 2017 showed the use of mental health services by new and expectant mothers was the highest amongst women under 16.

The second highest age group to experience mental health struggles were those under 19 and the figure gradually decreased and levelled off as mums got older.

“Becoming a parent is a huge, life-changing event for anyone, but young mums can be particularly vulnerable to experiencing perinatal mental health issues,” said Sarah McMullen, head of knowledge at National Childbirth Trust (NCT).

“Young mums can also experience stigma in relation to their age and may feel that others are judging them.

“It’s hugely important that young mums are supported and get the help they need so they feel more able to cope with becoming a parent both practically and emotionally.”

AleksandarNakic via Getty Images

So what should a young mother who is struggling with their mental health do before or after their baby is born?

We spoke to experts from the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) and Dr Raja Gangopadhyay, a consultant obstetrician with a special interest in Perinatal Mental Health (PMH) and supporter of the postnatal depression charity Pandas Foundation.

If you or anyone you know is struggling, here is what they advise:

1. Be aware of the ‘Red Flag’ symptoms.

It is now recommended that all new mothers and their families should be aware of the ‘Red Flag’ symptoms (MBRRACE 2015).

Dr Gangopadhyay explained this can be useful for young mothers who may not understand why they are having certain negative thoughts.

“Immediate help should be sought if the mother develops one or more of the following ‘Red Flag’ symptoms,” he said.

The four ‘Red Flag’ questions to ask:

Do you have new feelings and thoughts, which you have never had before, which make you disturbed or anxious?
Are you experiencing thoughts of suicide or harming yourself in violent ways?
Are you feeling incompetent as a mother, as though you can’t cope, or feeling distanced or estranged from your baby? Are these feelings persistent?
Do you feel you are getting worse?

Seek help if you answer yes to any of these questions.

2. Speak to a healthcare professional as soon as possible.

“We know it can be really difficult for mums to open up about how they are feeling,” said McMullen. “But the first really important step for young mums who are worried about their mental health is to speak to a health or social care professional, such as a GP, health visitor or midwife.

“They can then support you and signpost relevant services in your area. What’s on offer does differ in different parts of the UK.”

NHS

Percentage of mothers in contact with mental health services.

3. Look for specialist support services and peer support groups.

McMullen said in some areas in the UK there will be specialist support services especially for young mums, whilst other areas may have more general perinatal mental health or general mental health support services.

Look to see if there are any groups in your area. PANDAS has a list of local support groups.

The NCT also has a free helpline for mums who have children aged two and under. They run free courses specifically designed for young parents and offer a 90% discount on all courses for expectant parents under the age of 18 and for students under 22.

4. Ensure you have social support.

“It is essential to have good support from partners, family, and friends,” said Dr Gangopadhyay. “If the mothers do not have good social support, then there are other services that could help.

“Family Nurse Partnership (FNP) services support parents aged 24 or under, and a specially-trained family nurse visits the mother at home regularly from early pregnancy until the age of two.

“Another organisation is Home-Start, where volunteers support families (with young children) with postnatal depression, isolation, bereavement and many other challenges.”

5. Don’t feel ashamed.

Dr Gangopadhyay said it’s vital we ensure young mums are aware of the support available to them, because perinatal mental health (PMH) conditions are “one of the leading causes of death of new mothers in the UK”.

“Young mothers struggling with mental health conditions often hesitate to seek help due to shame, guilt, stigma and fear of the child being removed by the social services (which is a myth),” he said. “Therefore education and awareness are essential.

“Perinatal mental health conditions are treatable and full recovery is possible.”

6. And don’t ignore how you are feeling.

As well as feeling ashamed, Dr Gangopadhyay said some young mums may dismiss their thoughts, as they have never experienced mental health problems before.

“It’s important to remember that no one is immune and problems can happen without any warning or any pre-existing mental health condition,” he explained.

“Most importantly it is certainly not anyone’s fault or sign of a bad mother.

“Sometimes this can develop and deteriorate very rapidly and therefore mental health conditions in the perinatal period (during pregnancy and up to one year of childbirth) should not be ignored.

“It is important to remember that it is never too late to seek help. However seeking help early would ensure the early start of the treatment and less suffering.”

Dr Gangopadhyay said thoughts of suicide or harming the baby should not be ignored and if you have them you should not fear seeking help:

He said: “Please contact immediately any of the following: a) your local mental health crisis team, b) Samaritans confidential helpline: 116 123 or c) your local A&E.”

For information and support:
Mind: A mental health charity there to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone. Call: 0300 123 3393.
Pandas Foundation: Charity to support and advise any parent who is experiencing a perinatal mental illness. Call: 0843 28 98 401.
Mothers for Mothers: A postnatal depression support group with information and peer advice. Call: 0117 975 6006.
PNI: A website run by women who have suffered from postnatal illnesses to share personal experiences and offer support.
NCT: The National Childbirth Trust has a support line, as well as a wealth of online resources for new parents. Call: 0300 330 0700.

Before You Go

17 Celebrities Who Have Spoken About Mental Health

Demi Lovato, 24(01 of17)

Demi Lovato spoke about her bipolar disorder diagnosis as part of a campaign for mental health group Be Vocal.

"Getting a diagnosis was kind of a relief," she said. "It helped me start to make sense of the harmful things I was doing to cope with what I was experiencing. Now I had no choice but to move forward and learn how to live with it, so I worked with my health care professional and tried different treatment plans until I found what works for me.

"Living well with bipolar disorder is possible, but it takes patience, it takes work and it is an ongoing process. The reality is that you’re not a car that goes into a shop and gets fixed right away. Everyone’s process and treatment plan may be different.

"I am so grateful for my life today and I want to protect it. It isn’t always easy to take positive steps each day, but I know I have to in order to stay healthy. If you are struggling today with a mental health condition, you may not be able to see it as clearly right away but please don’t give up – things can get better.

"You are worthy of more and there are people who can help. Asking for help is a sign of strength." (credit:Rich Fury via Getty Images)

Professor Green, 33(02 of17)

Chatting to Freddie Flintoff for Heads Together's latest campaign #ItsOkToSay, Professor Green said: "I think I was born with anxiety. I used to take a lot of time off school. I was brought up by my grandmother, my dad was 18 when I was born, my mum was only 16. And my mum was the first person to leave when I was a year old.

"I was 24 and my dad took his own life. And it wasn't until years later when I did a documentary for the BBC and I had a conversation with my nan - it's weird that this happened for the first time on camera - but we spoke about it properly and I broke down.

"And I was petrified, it scared me that people were going to see me at my most vulnerable in a way that I don't often see myself. But that conversation changed everything because from that point, everything was out in the open and I was able to then talk to my friends about it." (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)

Ellie Goulding, 30(03 of17)

Ellie Goulding has previously spoken about her battle with anxiety and panic attacks, revealing that she underwent cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help her deal with her struggles.

She told Flare magazine: “I was skeptical at first because I’d never had therapy, but not being able to leave the house was so debilitating. And this was when my career was really taking off.

"My surroundings would trigger a panic attack, so I couldn’t go to the studio unless I was lying down in the car with a pillow over my face. I used to beat myself up about it.

“There were a couple of times after I released ‘Delirium’ when I was doing promo and thought, 'Oh god, it’s coming back, it’s coming back,' but it didn’t. I think my body has become quite good at controlling anxiety." (credit:Empics Entertainment)

Stormzy, 23(04 of17)

Grime and hip hop artist Stormzy has taken a new approach to discussing mental health, by rapping about his experiences of depression in single 'Lay Me Bare'.

Speaking to Channel 4 about the track, he said: "If there's anyone out there going through it, I think for them to see that I went through it, it would help.

"Because for a long time I used to think that soldiers don't go through that. You know? Like, strong people in life, the bravest, the most courageous people, they don't go through that, they just get on with it.

"That's not the case. I feel like I always come across confidently and happy. I just present myself in a positive way so I can spread that. So people will be looking at and thinking I don't go through nothing, so for me to let people know that I do, I felt it's important for me to let people know that." (credit:Emma McIntyre via Getty Images)

Dame Kelly Holmes, 47(05 of17)

Dame Holmes opened up about her depression battle, self-harming and the need to seek help in an open letter which the athlete tweeted during Mental Health Awareness Week.

She wrote: "I suffered in silence. And for too long. Behind closed doors - literally - I self-harmed to try and relieve the depression I was suffering as I struggled to overcome injuries that I thought would end my career. My body was constantly letting me down and then my mind did as well.

"Looking back, I wonder why I kept my feelings secret for so long. Even after I came through the worst, I didn't let on to people outside of my immediate family.

"Truth is, the stigma attached to mental health 12 years ago was a massive barrier for me. So I kept quiet, held it in and hid my mental health problems.

"Fast forward to today and people are talking more openly about mental health issues. But there's still a long way to go before people talk about mental health as openly as they do about heart disease or cancer." (credit:Francois Nel via Getty Images)

Ryan Reynolds, 40(06 of17)

The actor opened up about suffering with lifelong anxiety and the effects the mental illness had on him while filming 'Deadpool'.

He told Variety: “Our father was tough. He wasn’t easy on anyone. And he wasn’t easy on himself. I think the anxiety might have started there, trying to find ways to control others by trying to control myself. At the time, I never recognised that. I was just a twitchy kid.

"[When filming Deadpool] I never, ever slept. Or I was sleeping at a perfect right angle – just sitting straight, constantly working at the same time. By the time we were in post [production], we’d been to Comic-Con, and people went crazy for it. The expectations were eating me alive.

"Blake helped me through that. I’m lucky to have her around just to keep me sane." (credit:Taylor Hill via Getty Images)

Lena Dunham, 30(07 of17)

Dunham sat down with comedian Jacqueline Novak, on behalf of Refinery 29, to discuss her struggles with anxiety.

“I’ve always been anxious, but I haven’t been the kind of anxious that makes you run 10 miles a day and make a lot of calls on your Blackberry," she said. "I’m the kind of anxious that makes you like, ‘I’m not going to be able to come out tonight, tomorrow night or maybe for the next 67 nights'.” (credit:Ben Gabbe via Getty Images)

Zayn Malik, 24(08 of17)

Malik opened up about having an eating disorder and struggling with anxiety issues.

He told Sunday Times magazine: “Every area of my life was so regimented and controlled it was the one area where I could say, ‘No, I’m not eating that’. Once I got over the control, the eating just came back into place, super naturally.

"I came back to the UK and spent some time with my mum and got some TLC, and she cooked me food and I got back in touch, mentally, with a lot of the things I’d lost."

Discussing his anxiety struggles, he added: “I now have no problem with anxiety. It was something I was dealing with in the band.” (credit:Michael Tullberg via Getty Images)

Lady Gaga, 31(09 of17)

In an open letter to fans about her battle with PTSD, Gaga wrote: "I have wrestled for some time about when, how and if I should reveal my diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). After five years of searching for the answers to my chronic pain and the change I have felt in my brain, I am finally well enough to tell you.

"There is a lot of shame attached to mental illness, but it’s important that you know that there is hope and a chance for recovery." (credit:Kevin Winter via Getty Images)

Stephen Fry, 59(10 of17)

In a BBC documentary 'The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive', the comedian, actor and author spoke about being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

"I'd never heard the word before, but for the first time, at the age of 37, I had a diagnosis that explained the massive highs and miserable lows I've lived with all my life," he said.

"The psychiatrist...recommended I take a long break. I came here to America and for months I saw a therapist and walked up and down this beach. My mind was full of questions. Am I now mad? How have I got this illness, could it have been prevented, can I be cured of it? Since then, I have discovered just how serious it is to have bipolarity, or manic depression as it's also called. Four million others in the UK have it and many of them end up killing themselves.

"I want to speak out, to fight the public stigma and to give a clearer picture of a mental illness most people know little about." (credit:Matthew Horwood via Getty Images)

Selena Gomez, 24(11 of17)

Gomez has been incredibly open about her poor mental health and how it affects her work and life.

In a previous interview with Vogue, she said: “Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable.”

In 2016, she said she was taking time off to deal with panic attacks, anxiety and depression which were a side effect of her lupus diagnosis.

She said in a statement: "As many of you know, around a year ago I revealed that I have lupus, an illness that can affect people in different ways.

"I've discovered that anxiety, panic attacks and depression can be side effects of lupus, which can present their own challenges.

"I want to be proactive and focus on maintaining my health and happiness and have decided that the best way forward is to take some time off." (credit:Dimitrios Kambouris via Getty Images)

Prince William, 34(12 of17)

The Duke of Cambridge called for an end to the “stiff upper lip” culture in a bid to encourage more people to open up about mental health issues - especially men.

He told charity magazine CALMzine: “We will all go through tough times in our lives, but men especially feel the need to pretend that everything is OK, and that admitting this to their friends will make them appear weak. I can assure you this is actually a sign of strength.” (credit:Max Mumby/Indigo via Getty Images)

Carol Vorderman, 56(13 of17)

Carol Vorderman has bravely spoken about the debilitating depression she has experienced while going through the menopause and how it led to suicidal thoughts.

She told ITV’s ‘Lorraine’: "This depression hit me - and I don’t use the word depression lightly. This was a blackness where I would wake up - nothing else in my life was going wrong, I’m a very lucky woman, no money worries or nothing like that - and I would wake up and think ‘I don’t see the point in carrying on. I just don’t see the point in life.'

“And there was no reason to feel that way and the only reason I didn’t do anything, and I’ve not admitted it before, is because I had two children."

She said that from the moment she started taking medication for it, she felt better.

"I’ve been fed up, and obviously at the moment my mum is not well so I’m upset," she explained. "But there is a reason for all of those things whereas before there was no reason for it and it was absolutely, categorically to do with hormones." (credit:Max Mumby/Indigo via Getty Images)

Kid Cudi, 33(14 of17)

Last year, the singer shared a candid Facebook post explaining that he'd checked himself into rehab because he was experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts.

"It's been difficult for me to find the words to what I'm about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I've been living a lie," he wrote.

"It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans.

"Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges. I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I would've done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life.

"Theres a raging violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk (I don't know) what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it.

"I can't make new friends because of it. I don't trust anyone because of it and I'm tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling." (credit:Tim Mosenfelder via Getty Images)

Cara Delevingne, 24(15 of17)

When rumours were circulating that Delevingne was going to quit modelling, she tweeted: "I suffer from depression and was a model during a particularly rough patch of self hatred.

"I am so lucky for the work I get to do, but I used to work to try and escape and just ended up completely exhausting myself.

"I am focusing on filming and trying to learn how to not pick apart my every flaw. I am really good at that." (credit:Jason LaVeris via Getty Images)

Prince Harry, 32(16 of17)

Prince Harry sat down with Bryony Gordon to discuss how losing his mum - and not grieving properly - affected his mental health.

“I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well," he explained.

“I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions when all sorts of grief and sort of lies and misconceptions and everything are coming to you from every angle.

“My way of dealing with it was sticking my head in the sand, refusing to ever think about my mum, because why would that help? [I thought] it’s only going to make you sad, it’s not going to bring her back. So from an emotional side, I was like ‘right, don’t ever let your emotions be part of anything’.

"I was a typical 20, 25, 28-year-old running around going ‘life is great’, or ‘life is fine’. And then [I] started to have a few conversations and actually all of a sudden, all of this grief that I have never processed started to come to the forefront and I was like, there is actually a lot of stuff here that I need to deal with." (credit:Samir Hussein via Getty Images)

Frankie Bridge, 28(17 of17)

The former Saturdays singer spoke to Glamour about her depression battle: “One night, I got upset because Wayne hadn't bought the right yoghurts; I managed to convince myself that he didn't know me at all.

"It set off this spiral of negative thinking - that if I disappeared, it wouldn't matter to anyone. In fact, it would make everybody's life easier. I felt that I was worthless, that I was ugly, that I didn't deserve anything."

She sought help and has since been on the road to recovery.

"Nine times out of 10, my depression is under control, she added. "I get a bit emotional to think I felt so low about myself, that I shouldn't be around people I love, because I can't make them happy. I did lose myself, but I feel like me again now." (credit:Anthony Harvey via Getty Images)

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