Nick Abbot

LBC 97.3 talk show host, DJ and writer.

Currently, I am heard on LBC 97.3 in London and online on Friday and Saturday at 10pm.

I have three collections of columns on Amazon, the latest of which is here :
Hey, You! Leave Our Bus

Hey, You! Leave Our Bus Alone!

Sadiq Khan has dumped the new double-decker bus which was annoyingly dubbed the 'Boris Bus', because everything that Bozo the Mayor did always had his name appended to it by the press and, I suspect, by himself.
12/01/2017 13:41 GMT
It's Not Just Marmite, It's Bisto

It's Not Just Marmite, It's Bisto Too

Unilever said it and Tesco said it and Nestle said it: prices are going to go up. Tesco is the biggest retailer in the land, Unilever and Nestle are two of the biggest food companies on earth. These companies are packed with experts in possession of facts but we are no longer interested in experts and facts.
31/10/2016 13:09 GMT
The Squib That

The Squib That Fizzled

If ever a fight did not live up to it's hype, it was this one. The build-up was extraordinary. The Donald sought to take charge of the accusations of misogyny that had been levelled at him all week by holding an extraordinary and unexpected press conference with four women who presumably had a tale to tell of their treatment at the hands of Bill Clinton.
11/10/2016 17:12 BST
The Life Of An NHS Consultant: Tea Time And Tee

The Life Of An NHS Consultant: Tea Time And Tee Time

You know what the problem is with the NHS? And I'm not thinking about too few nurses, although that is probably true, and I don't mean too little money, although that's a huge issue, and it's not that there's more of us and we are all living longer, although that's true, the problem with the NHS is that consultants don't put in the hours.
31/05/2016 14:25 BST
Come On R2, Drive My

Come On R2, Drive My Car

Elon Musk is the man who invented cheese in a can, or something really big like that, and he told <em>Fortune</em> magazine that his Tesla Motors is two years away from achieving a fully autonomous self-driving car.
22/03/2016 16:32 GMT
Wills and Wotsit: The Great Disappearing

Wills and Wotsit: The Great Disappearing Act

Wills and Wotsit are off on another break from their hectic routine of smiling and waving. When David Cameron jaunts off, he regularly goes by the please-the-public holiday rulebook and travels on Easyjet.
11/03/2016 15:58 GMT
Being Boring's

Being Boring's Best

Most things men buy to wear are appalling. This is particularly true of teenagers and men in their twenties, thirties, forties and fifties. After that, no man ever buys clothes again, they just put on whatever needs cleaning the least, regardless of whether it still fits because we know that we are never going to have sex again, so what difference does it make what we look like?
01/10/2015 10:35 BST
Animals Watch Out, There's a Human

Animals Watch Out, There's a Human About

Instead of running wild over hills and dales, they get walked twice a day, if they are lucky, and get to pee on a tree in the midst of a concrete wasteland. If we were honest with ourselves, we would call this selfish. We would acknowledge that the dogs are not as happy as they could be, but we think they are cute and they amuse us, so we imprison them.
31/07/2015 12:49 BST
Red Card And A

Red Card And A Penalty

The governance of the sport is not our domain now either. International football is so rich that even the previously disinterested Americans are paying it heed and where money goes, crooks are sure to follow, and after them comes the Yankee law man.
29/05/2015 13:33 BST


Its been a braw week for wee Surgin' Surgeon and her glaikit pals. They arrived at Westminster like a tram load o' galoots and proceeded tae gae aboot the place like they dinnaeken hoo tae act ootside their ayn hoose. Like a great blootered, bevvied up army o' choobs and chookters. Maybe it was the Buckie talkin'.
26/05/2015 15:11 BST
The Royal

The Royal Issue

They want another Di. They want to go back to when a picture of her looking through her fringe could sell a million papers. It is not the eighties any more though and the public have moved on. It is a slow fade out for the old and a tidal wave of interest for the vacuous new. The royals are out, the Kardashians are in.
06/05/2015 12:42 BST