Those inside the Conservative party, and others screaming from the side-lines, need to wise up on how people like Donald Trump do business. He is a classic bully, and if the recent election isn't a good indicator of that then there is no hope that we will ever be able to deal with his underhand tactics.
Firstly, he has no friends. Only chess pieces; people to be moved and manipulated, often in very unsubtle ways, which is precisely what he is doing with the embarrassingly star-struck Mr Farage. Let's look at the facts. Post the Brexit result all of a sudden Nigel Farage was on the stump for Trump, waving and grinning, as an example to all the Trumpites that they had the possibility of victory in their sights. Old friend, trusted confident? No. Useful pawn? Definitely.
Now what's happening is that President Elect Trump is looking to get the upper hand in future relations with Theresa May's Government, and who better to call in for a photo op in the golden lift to tighten the screws on the UK's already under pressure administration? Why, his old 'friend' Nigel of course. And boy how it's working!
Not only are the awe struck idiots of UKIP urging Mrs May to use Nigel as a 'hot line to the White House', but even Tory insiders are putting pressure on the PM to take advantage of the UKIP interim leader as a special emissary to the court of The Donald. Talk about taking the bait, hook, line and sinker!
When I first got involved in the Westminster world I had to learn a whole new language, culture and way of doing things. People say things they don't mean, and don't say things they do mean. There are people you need to talk to, even if you don't want to, so you can talk to the ones you do want to meet. For a businessman brought up on a rough south London estate it was and still is a strange world, but I've learned mostly what's going on and what people mean.
The same learning curve is now what conventional politicians and diplomats need to get onto, and fast. Donald Trump is a junk yard dog who fights dirty, and is not above using anything, or anyone in his power plays, if he thinks he can gain some small advantage. Former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright has called Donald Trump 'Putin's useful idiot', which from where I'm standing makes, Nigel Farage, Trump's useful idiot.
The good news is that the PM hasn't taken the bait, and despite the provocation and obvious insult to her authority, is retaining her, and the UK's dignity, by dealing with the incoming president from a position of someone who is head of our government, who is at the heart of our country's foreign policy, and who has status on the world stage.
Adopting Nigel Farage would be a huge mistake, and the moment the UK gave him any status, official or otherwise, it would place our metaphorical testicles in the vice-like grip of The Donald, and he won't let go. Apologies for the graphic reference, but we must understand the nature of the beast we are dealing with if we are to deal with him as an equal. And letting him get the upper hand now would be calamitous for our future relations with the Trump White House.