"Help", I thought to myself, I need to un-hear what I am being told. I'm sat opposite the specialist and he is telling me I have kidney cancer. Not what I thought would happen to a fit forty something. Yet, there I was being told it needed to come out, as soon as possible. Then a year and a day later I lost my husband to the same awful disease.
If someone would have tapped me on my shoulder and said "You're gonna be fine, it's your other half that is going to lose the battle," I would have told them there were bloody bonkers.
I would have been wrong, very wrong.
And yet here we are, life's curveballs being flung at us from all directions, with absolutely no warning. One moment life is sweet and you think that missing the train is a biggy and BOOM, reality check, now you really have some serious stuff to worry about and the small details just fade into the background.
That moment at the hospital, with the doctor, that's when I designed my DELETE button.
The DELETE button is a very cool and simple way of not being brainwashed into the "I am going to die" mentality, and to be honest, I think every person on the planet needs one. It doesn't mean that we don't have to do some stuff we don't want to do, like have a kidney out or nurse your spouse, it means that you get to choose what that means to you, how to process it and how to DELETE the useless viruses our minds can feed us.
People want to help, they really do, but they are only able to help from their reality and not yours.
A friend came to see me in hospital and brought me some fudge and wine, a brilliant gift, brought with love. This was followed by the DELETE button needing to come out, quickly. She told me she had just seen a doco about a lady who had donated her kidney, and four weeks later she became very depressed. Apparently it is thought that the body was mourning the organ!
I had avoided googling anything to do with cancer, or look at kidney online help groups and the like and here I am two days after surgery and my friend is sitting there telling me this story.
And here's why you should get your DELETE button today. People influence us all the time, it happens when we least expect it. The really bad thing about this is that our grey matter will absorb the absolute tripe we are being fed unless we delete it. My button is bright red, round DELETE button in my mind and hear it shout in a very shouty voice DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. Hey presto, the result is that my subconscious mind has managed to make it out the other side unscathed.
Try it, you will love it, it could change your life.