David Cameron And 8 Weird Rants From 'Angry' Prime Minister

The Press are "setting each others’ hair on fire" and more
Alex Wong via Getty Images

David Cameron has vented his fury at newspapers, accusing them of “setting each others’ hair on fire”.

It prompted "Angry David Cameron" to trend on social media, but it’s not the first time the Prime Minister has gone on a weird rant. Here are eight of his best.

1. "That means lock and load and have one up the spout."

In 2013, the PM was facing an “ambush” from other EU leaders trying to claw back some of Britain’s totemic “rebate”: the £3bn handed down from Brussels each year to make up for the shortfall in farming subsidies the UK receives.

But “Jean Claude Van Cam” was sleeping with one eye open: “In this town you have to be ready for an ambush at any time, and that means lock and load and have one up the spout, and be ready for it."

2. “If you’re fed-up with the eff-ing Tories, give ‘em a kick.”

To the Scottish independence referendum of 2014. Cameron makes a rare foray north of the border to convince voters to stay in the union.

His pitch included a curious decision to lift a line more likely to feature on a Labour or SNP election poster.

He said: "Because it’s an election, because it’s a ballot, I think people can feel a bit like it’s a general election.

“That you make a decision and five years later you can make another decision. If you’re fed up with the eff-ing Tories give them a kick, and then maybe we will think again. This is totally different."

3. “One of the first ever examples of political masosadism.”

The House of Commons exchanges between Cameron and former Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls, are much-missed.

Among the best was the PM, who once described his adversary as “the most annoying man in politics”, attempting a deficit-related takedown.

He told MPs during Prime Minister’s Questions: “He is one of the causes of the deficit.

"I think we’ve all found one of the first ever examples of political masosadism.”

“You screwed it up,” one MP noted, sagely.

4. “Too many tweets might make a twat.”

In 2009, when leader of the Opposition, he explained to Absolute Radio why he wasn’t on Twitter: “Too many tweets might make a twat.”

He’s now on Twitter, of course.

5. “Calm down, dear.”

Cameron borrowed from the late great philosopher Michael Winner in 2011 when he urged Labour’s Angela Eagle to “calm down, dear”.

Eagle’s response was sound. Asked if she had felt patronised by the remark, she said: "I have been patronised by better people than the Prime Minister.”

6. “I once forgot that I left Nancy down the pub.”

The Prime Minister famously and accidentally left his daughter in the pub while having a family lunch. “I once forgot that I left Nancy down the pub. Sorry, Sam, it won’t happen again!,” he told the Tory Party conference in 2014.

But he suggested this was worse than Ed Miliband “forgetting” to mention the deficit in his Labour conference speech as week earlier: “You cannot be prime minister of this country and forget the most important issue we face."

7. “If you’re not certain, ask. And we’ll happily make it clear.”

Divides over Europe again, and the Prime Minister was forced to explain comments that he claimed were “misinterpreted” over whether Cabinet ministers would be allowed to campaign to leave the EU even if the Government’s position was to stay.

It prompted an eye-roll from The Daily Mail’s Jason Groves that perfectly summed up, well, everything.

8. “You all go around setting each others’ hair on fire.”

Over the weekend he sounded off when journalists questioned whether he had taken his eye off the ball because of the EU referendum, citing the Budget U-turn.

And when asked about Tory party rifts over "Brexit", he responded with a sharp tongue: “You all go around setting each others’ hair on fire and getting very excited about this but it’s all a lot of processology.”


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