Now we have to roast four types of potato, risk our lives collecting presents in Argos, and then give Father Christmas all the credit.
These are the 8 ways Christmas is different before and after becoming a mum.
1. The weeks before Christmas.
Before Kids: Office Christmas parties, sequin dresses, impromptu dinners with friends and mulled wine at 4 o’clock in the afternoon.
After Kids: Working out how to make a nativity costume out of toilet rolls.
2. Budgeting for December.
Before kids: Being bankrupt because your Christmas social calendar is not compatible with your salary.
After kids: Being bankrupt because you just found out how much a Hatchimal is going to cost you on Ebay.
3. Receiving Christmas presents.
Before Kids: Being given clothes, perfume, jewellery, and your favourite wine.
After Kids: Getting a hoover, some marigolds and the ‘joy’ of watching your little ones open their presents.
4. Decorating the Christmas tree.
Before Kids: A Pinterest inspired Instagrammable effort, complete with a full set of (non-broken) decorations.
After Kids: You’re just satisfied if the tree stays upright for 24 hours.
5. The night before Christmas.
Before Kids: Going to the pub and getting incredibly drunk with no cares for the morning.
After Kids: Spending hours silently trying to assemble flatpack toys without waking the children up.
6. Christmas morning.
Before Kids: Getting up ‘early’ at about 9am and spending the whole day in your pyjamas waiting to be fed.
After Kids: Being woken up at 3.40am by someone on the end of your bed and then trying to stop everyone from opening their presents.
7. Making Christmas lunch.
Before Kids: If you could be bothered you popped a tray of pigs in blankets in the oven, but you always went to someone else’s house.
After Kids: You’re up basting a giant bird at the crack of dawn.
8. Christmas TV.
Before Kids: The Queen’s Speech and then falling asleep in front of It’s A Wonderful Life.
After Kids: Harry Potter marathon followed by Ratatouille.
9. Boxing Day
Before Kids: Regretting the amount of Baileys you drank yesterday.
After Kids: Regretting the amount of Baileys you drank yesterday.
At least some things never change.