David Cameron Offshore Fund Admission Prompts Inventive 'Curses' From Critics

'May your Waitrose be forever out of quinoa.'

The Prime Minister's revelation that he profited from shares in his father's offshore trust has inspired some deeply British insults from those who feel he should be punished.

Cameron's admission over the fund, which was revealed in the leaked Panama Papers, prompted commenters to curse him with diabolical plagues, from having unevenly-flavoured crisps, to broken biscuits, and permanently crinkly shirts.

"May you constantly forget about your tea until it is unpleasantly tepid," said one tweeter, while another - perhaps the most henious of all - cursed him to "forever be plagued by rail replacement bus services".