25 Funny Tweets About Our Irrational Childhood Fears

"As a child I really thought the Bermuda Triangle was going to pose a lot more problems for me than it actually has."
urbazon via Getty Images

From quicksand to the Bermuda Triangle, a number of things we feared as children turned out to be fairly irrelevant as we grew older.

The good news is we can look back, laugh and tweet about them. Weโ€™ve rounded up 25 funny and relatable tweets about our biggest childhood fears.

as a child i really thought the bermuda triangle was going to pose a lot more problems for me than it actually has

โ€” THOT PATROL (@thotdem0n) June 23, 2020

For those of us a certain age, it seems inconceivable now how much of our youth was spent fixated on quick sand and what to do if caught in it. What was that about? Did it go away? Was just explaining it to a kid and he thinks we were all on drugs. Were we? It was huge deal then.

โ€” Juliette Kayyem (@juliettekayyem) September 21, 2021

Did anyone else have an irrational fear of Venus flytraps as a kid or were you normal ?

โ€” Mike (@michael_mascia) September 18, 2020

My irrational childhood fear pic.twitter.com/vgkYeX8CwH

โ€” milk (@miilkkk) June 3, 2013

Contrary to childhood education, falling anvils, pianos, and safes have not been a significant danger in my life.

โ€” Eugenio Perea (@eperea) August 31, 2015

My health anxiety is quite bad at the moment but at least I no longer have the constant fear of spontaneous combustion which took up a significant part of my childhood.

โ€” Charlotte Levin (@tinycharlotte72) November 26, 2021

When I was a kid I thought worms popping out of apples I bit into was gonna be a much bigger problem

โ€” Topshelf Tyson (@topshelftyson) September 2, 2020

Question for 80s babies: did yโ€™all have an irrational fear of quicksand? Where did it come from? Why was it in so many television shows? Where can one even find quicksand?

โ€” damita jo (@KiaSpeaks) May 19, 2020

BIGGEST CHILDHOOD FEAR, EVER: pic.twitter.com/6Ui8WFWQ

โ€” Fill Werrell (@FillWerrell) January 15, 2013

I think my childhood fear of piranhas might have been a bit overblown because they havenโ€™t really featured as much in my life as I thought they would. And by as much I mean, not at all.

โ€” Jayne Manfredi (@TheWomanfredi) January 18, 2022

did you have an irrational childhood fear of dying from diphtheria due to your elementary schoolโ€™s disproportionately extensive education on balto and the 1925 alaskan outbreak or are you normal

โ€” new year same sar (@Smarahsplatt) July 8, 2020

I still have my childhood fear of being afraid to leave one foot off the bed because I feel like something is going to grab it

โ€” Shelby Hawkins (@shortgangmafia) January 24, 2015

Anyone else as spooked as I was reading The Face on the Milk Carton as a kid?

โ€” alyssa moore (@yrgod) August 24, 2020

What was your most irrational childhood fear? I was scared to eat gushers because I thought they would turn my head into fruit.

โ€” Jamie Blynn (@jamieblynn) December 9, 2020

i wont lie as a child i was always scared i would find a worm in my apples i would never eat them straight alway have them sliced https://t.co/vQVwS19leZ

โ€” chanyce โท (@SuperCupcakez) July 10, 2021

Things you feared deeply in childhood that turned out not to be much of an issue in adult life: quicksand.

โ€” John Niven HQ (@estellecostanza) January 7, 2019

Things I was taught to worry about growing up that ended up not being a thing:
* quicksand
* stop drop and roll
* Bermuda Triangle
* razor blades in Halloween candy
* spontaneous human combustion
* always have a quarter in your kangaroo shoe pocket so you can call home

โ€” Scott Hanselman (@shanselman) August 27, 2021

The true 90s child experience is thinking about that Rugrats episode where Chuckie swallows a watermelon seed and fear a watermelon will grow inside him whenever you accidentally eat any kind of fruit seed

โ€” Soph (@StorybrookeSoph) November 8, 2018

I remember when I was a kid and had a genuine fear of spontaneous combustion like straight up catching on fire just sitting in my room watching transformers

โ€” ๐”ƒ๐“ช๐“ฌ๐“ฑ ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ (@slushie2699) June 22, 2020

the books I was assigned in high school were nowhere near as chaotic as the ones they made me read in middle school.

My Brother Sam Is Dead?!
The Face on the Milk Carton?!?!
Number the Stars?!??!!????

โ€” Robin Zlotnick (@RobinZlotnick) June 29, 2021

Irrational Childhood Fear
I love Inspector Gadget, but I was always scared to get a letter that said 'this message will self-destruct' because I was worried that sheets of paper could explode if you just wrote that, and I wouldn't know where to safely throw it away in time. ๐Ÿ—’๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฃ

โ€” AuraPuffs ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿ (@AuraPuffs) November 29, 2019

Today, I wonder if anyone else will admit to having an irrational childhood fear of getting scurvy. #talklikeapirateday

โ€” Jeanne Ivy (@MsLierre) September 19, 2012

Looney Tunes had my kid brain always scared that I would accidentally touch a bunch of Poison Ivy. Never mind the fact that I lived in NYC...

โ€” Slumber (@rod_shark) April 5, 2021

i was honestly so concerned about blackholes as a child. i genuinely thought theyโ€™d be a much bigger problem than they turned out to be.

โ€” sanmeet (@sanmeeet) January 3, 2022

Me as a kid: the Bermuda Triangle, quicksand, being caught in a lava flow, spontaneous human combustion, and alien abduction are going to cause major problems in my adult life.
Me as an adult: If only life was that simple.

โ€” ๐“๐“ป๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ฝ ๐“›๐“ฒ๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ (@JanMari24480610) October 9, 2021
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