Joe Lycett Takes Aim At Nadine Dorries With Very Silly And Very Fake Letter To Boris Johnson

Oh Joe, please don’t ever change.
Joe Lycett and Nadine Dorries
Joe Lycett and Nadine Dorries

You can always rely on Joe Lycett to bring the silly when it comes to politics.

First there was his brilliant parody of the Sue Gray report, and just a few weeks ago he regaled peers in the House of Lords with the story of him pretending to be a banking boss with a tweet that read: “I’ve got a smelly bum bum”.

Now, the comic is up to his naughty tricks again and has Nadine Dorries in his sights after sharing a fake letter pretending to be from the Culture Secretary to Boris Johnson.

The letter, mocked up to make it look like it was on official House of Commons stationery on the day the PM finally resigned, concerns the very serious matter of… bottle openers.

The letter begins: “It is with deep sadness that I have reached the conclusion this is not working. I have made honest efforts to resolve the difficulties but it has become clear this morning that I am unable to proceed further.

“I would like to thank you for purchasing the PoptheTop automatic bottle opener for me last week.

“I was very grateful for this and for many things you have done for me, but I believe you have not purchased the correct bottle opener. I was looking to open a bottle of ‘I Heart Pinot Grigio’ I got from Tesco last night and discovered the PoptheTop bottle opener is actually only designed to open traditional beer bottles or Coca Cola or J2O Apple and Mango.”

The letter continued: “It has been the honour of my life working in your government. I will believe and stand by you.”

The letter concludes by suggesting Johnson “reconsider” and purchase the Cuisinart CW050U electric wine opener “which is £50 in John Lewis” or the Le Creuset LM250 Lever Corkscrew although it is ”£95 and looks confusing to use.

“Please replace the PoptheTop automatic bottle opener which doesn’t even work on the Grolsch bottles which have the metal clasp.”

Well, we did say it was silly.

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