We Are In Absolute Stitches At These Kids Who Mispronounced Things

To be fair, 'biscuit' does sound a lot like 'big shit'...
Kids are hilarious.
OLEKSANDRA TROIAN via Getty Images
Kids are hilarious.

“My little one proudly mispronounces a biscuit as ‘big shit’,” says Jack, 38, from Kent.

The family has a Saturday morning tradition where their two-year-old daughter will get into bed with them while they have a biscuit with a cup of coffee.

“Cue her excitedly getting into bed asking ‘can I have a big shit now, daddy’ or even better, ‘a choccy big shit’,” he says.

When it comes to learning new words, sometimes it can take a while for the right pronunciation to stick. The results of this can be adorable – Jack’s daughter Sylvie, for instance, calls a cuddle a ‘cuggle’ – but also hilarious for parents.

Especially when these mispronunciations take a turn for the worse and kids end up accidentally saying a less than desirable word – especially in public.

And sometimes, while the logic is there, they get the word completely wrong. Like Kirsty Card’s nephew, who decided to call cucumbers “crack”.

“My mum (his gran) buys those half cucumbers from the supermarket and my nephew didn’t know how to say cucumber but his child logic told him the cucumber is cracked in half, so he started calling it crack instead,” says Card.

“The looks we used to get around the shop when he’d ask my mum if she was buying crack was hilarious!”

We asked parents on Twitter to share their funniest mispronunciation stories. The responses were split into two camps.

There were the very cute mispronunciations... Like rainbrella and bumbum bees.

For a very long time my son called crocodiles, crocotigers.

— Molly (@Mollysdailykiss) March 22, 2023

My daughter can't say 'grey bunny' so her favourite cuddly toy's name comes out 'gay' (grey) 'bar' (bunny). She often looses him in her sleep, so I'm woken up at 3am by a little voice shouting 'Where's gay bar!!??' 😅

— Laura Grant (@Lauraannegrant) March 22, 2023

My son used to called Peter Rabbit - Peter 'Rattit' and also got hospital and octopus mixed up and would say 'hostipus'

— Kat Storr (@KatStorrWriter) March 22, 2023

When my niece was 3 her favourite food was "cumbumber". (She's now 10 so will, like, totally die of embarrassment if she, like, literally sees this.) My 3-year-old daughter loves tuna and cheese "cameemee". (Or panini.) 🥰

— Al Booth (@AlBooth) March 22, 2023

Bagina for vagina from our son, very apt as I had vaginismus and my vagina was bad at times🤣 Pens and needles, spagyetti and hostible for hospital from our daughter 😂

— Samantha Evans💙 (@SamTalksSex) March 22, 2023

My twins came came up with rainbrella, snapadile and ginocerous when they were little... plus a few other mispronunciations I daren't share on Twitter!

— Naomi Schilling (@Naom1Schilling) March 23, 2023

My daughter used to called unicorns 'sweetcorns'

— Aarti Bulsara (@Aarti_b) March 22, 2023

My 2yo loves bumbum bees 🐝 and says “oh my Guinness” (instead of Goodness). We’re keeping both as part of our family lexicon :)

— Amandine (@AmandineOlivier) March 22, 2023

My now teenager used to spin in a circle as a toddler and tell us, "I'm getting busy!" It cracked me up every time.

— ekb8100 (@ekb8100) March 23, 2023

And then there were the seriously awkward ones... which are (let’s face it) absolutely hilarious.

My eldest (now 18) used to call the conservatory, a 'circle-tree'. My youngest (now 11) spent many years calling peanut butter 'billubilla'.
My middle one (when 3) once pointed at a vacuum in a supermarket and said very loudly, in front of a horrified elderly lady, 'Fack-youm'.

— Clare Josa (@ClareJosa) March 22, 2023

My little girl, now 9, used to point at clocks and say the word without the ‘l’… 😂 often quite loudly and proudly 😬

— Helen Khan (@HelenKhanComms) March 23, 2023

Both my sons pronounced 'stick' as 'd!ck' when they were younger 🙈

— Anna Lake Consulting (@alakeconsulting) March 22, 2023

My neighbours child used to say ‘piece of’ when he wanted say a slice of cake . Sounded like ‘p**s off’ !

— Sara Wolfe (@SaraWolfeBAH) March 22, 2023

My son had difficulty pronouncing 'ch' sounds and 'k' sounds in words. 'Ch' came out 'sh', and anything ending in 'k' got a 't' sound.

One Easter he told me there was a 'baby sh*t' in his egg. He meant 'chick' 😄

— Gary Quinn (@_GaryQ) March 22, 2023

CumBears instead of PomBears…

— Lucy Zilberkweit (@Lucyzilb) March 22, 2023

Paw Patrol is “butt hole” in our house

— Sonia (@SoniaZhur) March 22, 2023

My daughter called marshmallows ‘arsemallows’. I was gutted when she was able to say it properly ☹️😂

— Catherine Johnston (@catjohnston26) March 22, 2023

I got my kiddo to record the voicemail for my old company Falcon PR - it came out as F*kker PR, how may I help you?

— AbyHawker (@abyhawker) March 22, 2023

My daughter has taken to calling a fox, fuk. It weirdly now seems to apply to frog too...

— Simran Maini (@SimranMaini) March 22, 2023

At age three shouting out in the cinema when the movie had just gone quiet - Muuuum can we have some more cockporn!!! 🤭

— Jo Kavanagh 🌹 (@msjokav_) March 22, 2023

My daughter used to say “you c*nt” instead of “you can’t”.

— Emma Gibbs (@emmgibbs) March 22, 2023

My 18month old used to get very upset about putting his coat on. But he couldn't quite say 'coat' so just screamed another C-word at us instead. At least I assume he couldn't say coat...

— Genevieve Williams (@GenSweet) March 22, 2023
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