Sofia Richie's Wedding Has Us In A Chokehold, But Is The Quiet Luxury Chat Hiding Plain Old Sexism?

It's 2023 and everyone's still drawing connections between women's clothing and their eligibility for marriage.
Jacopo Raule via Getty Images

Sofia Riche, daughter of Lionel Richie, recently got hitched to Elliot Grainge over the weekend and naturally the internet has gone wild.

I’ll be honest and say I don’t know what Sofia does but I guess that’s the whole premise of what a nepo-baby is, right? Nevertheless, her wedding has sparked conversations around quiet luxury.

In various TikTok videos, older pictures of Sofia (dressing like a normal 21-year-old girl) are being compared to her current aesthetic which is being described as ‘quiet luxury’ or as one user dubbed ‘rich classy.’

These videos are also touching on the link between style and partners as users have noticed that her style when she was dating her ex Scott Disick (yes, Kourtney Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend) is considerably different to what it is now that she’s linked with her current husband Elliot Grainge.


Became a Sofia Richie stan overnight and i’m not mad about it 😍 #sofiarichie #wedding #style #inspo

♬ original sound - Nevon

The aim of these videos, I’d argue, is to emphasise the apparent link between style, modesty and value. When she was dressing like a stereotypical influencer baddie she was with Scott, the Hollywood bad boy. Now that she’s with Elliot (a British record executive) she’s dressing more ‘modestly’ and is apparently the ‘epitome of quiet luxury’.

The conversations around quiet luxury are interesting as they often take a few examples of wealthy people who don’t look ostentatious to show us that luxury isn’t loud.

But to me, getting married on the French Riviera doesn’t scream quiet luxury to me.

Let’s be real, quiet luxury is also often associated with ‘high-value women’. If you’re not familiar with the term (firstly, I’m so happy for you), a high-value woman is a woman who is feminine, classy, she dresses modestly, isn’t too loud, a healer, a nurturer.

And it’s not just an ‘idea’, femininity coaches on TikTok spend their time teaching you how to be this woman as a way of attracting men – but not just any man, a high-value man of course.

Sofia’s new aesthetic is being linked with the idea that her worth has quadrupled due to her modest wardrobe and media-rich husband. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with dressing modestly, but the constant link between modesty, luxury, and a woman’s value is exhausting.

I hate to break it to you but wearing more clothes on your body isn’t going to transform you into Sofia Richie overnight. Additionally, women who wear less and feel comfortable showing off their bodies are still being chosen by men. Society wants us to believe this binary idea that women who cover up get into relationships with rich successful men whilst the IG girls are single and worthless, it’s just not true.

The high-value woman ideology is rooted in misogyny and white supremacy.

The idea that dressing a certain way will help you attract a man (usually a man with money and a white man for brownie points), is simply not true. If you type in high-value woman or quiet luxury you’ll probably see faces of white women. It’s simply because women of colour aren’t seen as naturally class enough to be seen as luxurious.

Additionally, these conversations show us how we make up narratives around influencers and celebrities. We don’t know anything about Sofia. She hasn’t told us much about what she believes in and yet the internet has created these ideas about who she is.

We as an internet community need thinking our ideas about celebrities are facts, we don’t know who they are. Celebrities are also allowed to evolve and change (like us) without being put in a box.

The value of a woman should not be associated with what she wears or who she dates. We decide our own.