Let’s face it. It’s going to be a pretty long nine months if you make a pledge to not have sex at all while you’re waiting for your new baby to arrive.
So despite feeling like the least sexy version of yourself - and not actually having seen your vagina in eight weeks (pretty sure it’s still down there) – all parents-to-be know that pregnant sex is going to be on the agenda.
So buckle down and start spooning, because this is gonna be a whole new experience.
1. Thinking you’re going to be a pregnant sex goddess.
2. Believing ‘the glow’ is a real thing.
3. Realising ‘the glow’ is actually just constant sweating.
4. Having no underwear that doesn’t have an elasticated waistband.
5. Feeling as attractive as a beached whale.
6. Being aware that you haven’t shaved in six months.
7. Riding a rollercoaster of emotions within 90 seconds.
8. Deciding missionary is mission impossible.
9. Knowing you are limited to one of two positions.
10. Setting off morning sickness from the motion.
11. Convincing yourself the baby knows what you’re doing.
12. Stopping midway through to secure your boobs.
13. Noticing a rash on your stomach that you swear wasn’t there yesterday.
14. Knowing that your heavy breathing isn’t sexy, it’s exhaustion.
15. Realising that achieving an orgasm at this stage is like getting an Olympic gold.
This better get easier when the baby gets here...