24/04/2017 14:54 BST

You Can Now Use Your Boyfriend's Balls As A Beauty Blender, And The Apocalypse Can't Come Too Soon

Not today patriarchy.

If you are anything like us you will be sick and tired of washing makeup brushes (seriously, who has the time) so you might be looking for an alternative way to put your face on in the morning.

But have you ever considered ditching your sponge and using the genitalia of a nearby male companion? Yeah, us neither. 

But in news that will make single girls weep across the UK (can’t everyone just leave us alone), now we’re expected to have a boyfriend who lets us wipe his testes across our forehead while we moan about getting even coverage.

The unconventional technique was first used by 18-year-old Johnna Hines from Florida, US, who decided in an impromptu moment to use her boyfriend’s balls to put on her foundation.

And we can neither confirm nor deny that they were recently washed.

Hines, who posted the mini tutorial on her Twitter page, told Buzzfeed News that her boyfriend, Damon Richards, 20, was messing about with her after a shower when they came up with the idea.

She said: “He’s always messing with me so he started putting his balls on my head. I made a joke about using them as a beauty blender and we literally just looked at each other and started laughing and made the video from there.”

Inevitably the internet is really not sure how to respond. 

Hines isn’t the first person this year to insist that we all ditch our brushes and go for something alternative to get our glam on. 

Laila Tahri, from the Netherlands, wanted us to all rub condoms all over our face in “order not to waste any product” getting absorbed into the sponge. 

And beauty blogger Nadi, uploaded a vlog to YouTube of his step-by-step process of how to apply makeup using a single egg.