Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humour lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
Every craft store needs an aisle labeled So Your Child Has a School Project Due Tomorrow.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 19, 2023
kindergarten teacher: send your kid in their best clothes for the holiday concert
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 20, 2023
me: best we can do is a Christmas sweater and dinosaur shorts
Both of my sons have somewhat classic, WASP-y first names, and the number of older people who have said to me, "oh how nice, he has a nOrMaL name, and you don't have to wonder if he's a boy or a girl" is rather rich coming from the generation of seven million people named Pat
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) December 16, 2023
my 9yo, most of the year: what month are we in?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) December 17, 2023
my 9yo, today: it’s Dec 17 and there’s 174 hours till Christmas Eve.
I asked my 8yo son if I had a rizz thinking it was the same as drip and he gon say, “why you need rizz, you’re old and married” pic.twitter.com/PnUOmi2DW6
— Princess (@themultiplemom) December 20, 2023
Only 273 little last minute tasks to get done and we will finally be ready to relax for the holidays.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 16, 2023
My kids wanted to play hotel and after checking my husband into his room he went in and took a nap and he’s parenting on a whole new level
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) December 18, 2023
7: there were 5 cupcakes when I left and now there are 3. Did you eat 2?!
— Myrrhissa 💚🎄❤️💛 (@michimama75) December 21, 2023
Me: suddenly now you can do math
My friend asked for suggestions for something short and funny to watch so I suggested my 12yo son.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 18, 2023
Mom groups: I don’t permit my kids any screens, non-organic and non-vegan food, we do all contact naps at the breast and wooden toys, absolutely no exposure to plastic!
— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) December 20, 2023
Same moms: Where is my village? No one will ever watch my kids! So disappointed in my family
Twas the week before Christmas
— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) December 18, 2023
And all through the house
Parents were scurrying
Because the school sent a reminder at 6 pm Sunday night that it was spirit week with different outfits each day and it was different for each grade
So my kids asked to see our cat’s ashes, and I said yes and explained it would look like gray dust. You know, like in the movies, right?
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) December 17, 2023
So it actually looked like a bag of tiny shards of bones and they burst into tears. What. The. Heck.
What’s it like having 4 boys?
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 21, 2023
My son just threw a waffle into the ceiling fan so he could see what would happen, with all of his brothers cheering him on.
Send help.
Fellow dads - this is your reminder: you have 4 days to make sure you have the biggest trash bags ready for Christmas morning. Set those babies out Christmas Eve. Be prepared. Don't be a loser.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 21, 2023