Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humour lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
âI donât want the orange juice with the fruit meatâ. - my 6yo referring to pulp as fruit meat
— Princess (@themultiplemom) January 1, 2024
Had a talk with the kids at dinner about New Yearâs resolutions but I guess the 6yo doesnât quite grasp the concept because she went around the table and told each of us what SHE thinks WE should do better andâŠ..you guys I think she might be onto something.
— Dinah (@dinahaddie) January 2, 2024
My daughter is at her friends house and we told her to call us for the toast⊠look what she called us with đ pic.twitter.com/eyVN2WdZFe
— MOMMA $PICE (@ItsMrsPlugg) January 1, 2024
Reached into a pocket of my diaper bag only to find a handful of cat food. When asked about this, my 5 year old said, âin case we see some catsâ
— Taylor Schumann (@taylorsschumann) January 3, 2024
when i became a parent, i was prepared for the inevitable tantrums over no cookies for dinner or it's time to turn off the tv to go to bed; i was not prepared for the 15 minute tantrum because he asked me for chocolate milk and i gave him some.
— emily (@emilykmay) January 1, 2024
Find someone more giddy with excitement than my husband who stopped the car between the Canada-US border to joke that we left the kids in another country
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 2, 2024
My daughter just referred to her dad as my âex husbandâ. I said girl that is my ex boyfriend I was never married to him. She gon look at me and say âwell thatâs weird for you to have a baby with somebody you wasnât married toâ. Not you judging me for making YOU đ
— Kira J (@IamKiraJ) January 4, 2024
My son trying to pay for his groceries with a drivers licenseâŠhe is going to JAIL pic.twitter.com/KMNW2yxIMt
— buc nasty (@CindyM0on) January 4, 2024
be kind, for you never know how many dad jokes someone may have had to listen to today
— That Mom Tho đŠ (@mom_tho) January 5, 2024
My little girl admitted last week that there was a little toy she asked Santa for in secret that he didn't bring, and she was a little sad about it. But we were taking the tree down today and there it was! Santa must've just accidentally left it round the back. He's some man!
— Gerry McBride (@GerryMcBride) January 2, 2024
âOnly 105 days until summer break.â -my kids teacher at school pickup on the first day back from winter break
— Marissa đâšđ (@michimama75) January 3, 2024
kids these days will never experience the pain of when it's the night and time your show finally comes on and you've waited all week. you sit down and it begins only to realize it's not new and it's a re-run instead. now you had to wait ANOTHER week.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 3, 2024
My mom asked if Zelda was part of Mario Kart and my 8yoâs eyes rolled so far back in his head they might still be there
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 5, 2024
My daughter wants an âold carâ. Like something from the 20-teens
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) January 3, 2024
My kid was mad I didnât take her to a Taylor swift party so I got her McDonaldâs and she got over it. Follow me for more parenting tips.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) January 3, 2024
Whatâs it like having teenage boys?
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 4, 2024
They pour a huge bowl of cereal, while youâre making dinner, without breaking eye contact.
My daughter called me the other day and after a little while just said âwell Iâm out of things to talk to you aboutâ and hung up
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 1, 2024
Cooking for kids is like owning a restaurant except the patrons wonât leave the kitchen, constantly complain youâre taking too long and ask you to watch them do jump-kicks every 12 seconds.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) January 2, 2024