This Mum Asked The 1 Question Every Parent Secretly Has – And The Responses Made Me Feel So Seen

The one question on every parent's mind.
A photo of a mother and her daughter packing backpacks in car, while bonding and sharing love. They are getting ready for hiking adventure.
hobo_018 via Getty Images
A photo of a mother and her daughter packing backpacks in car, while bonding and sharing love. They are getting ready for hiking adventure.

Every stage of parenting is different, for some the newborn stage is the easiest, for others it’s the toddler stage. Then there’s those who never find it easy even when their kids turn into full grown adults.

Each stage comes with different demands and challenges, for the first few years its dealing with sleep issues and teething. Then comes school and before you know it, you’re dealing with peer pressure and teenage meltdowns.

So, the question on every parents’ mind is, when does it get easier? Well, one mum asked the age-old question on Mumsnet and parents’ responses were quite relatable.

The mum said in the initial post: “Be honest, when does parenting get easier? I had post natal depression for the first year so there is a definite fog around that, my daughter had a cows milk allergy and reflux, and was a pretty poorly baby.”

She went on to explain that it got a little easier after her daughter turned one and started walking and she was actually beginning to enjoy parenting.

But, now that her daughter is about to turn 20 months, tantrums have begun.

“Fall to the ground, won’t get up, won’t be held, screaming tantrums. In the middle of Tesco, usually, because I’m trying to hurry her along or won’t let her have something. I try and manage them as best I can - getting to her level, asking her to use her words to explain the problem, even good old distraction. It is works 9/10 times but god the whole process is exhausting,” she wrote.

To fellow parents she asked the question of how long the particular phase lasts, adding that her daughter is strong willed but going out in public is not enjoyable.

Parents were quick to share their own experiences. Some were blunt, with one saying that it never gets easier.

They wrote: “Mine are 10 and 7 and are both now more physically able and independent but emotionally a nightmare. It’s like dealing with a 10 year old toddler.”

However, one parent was a bit more positive and said: “My eldest got easier at around 5, my youngest is 4 and I’m really really hoping she will be the same (definitely hasn’t happened yet). But as others said, it’s easier in some ways, but harder in others.”

Another chimed in with a similar sentiment and wrote: “Kids are all different but I found from 3-4 things got easier, mine is about to turn 5 and is so easy, can take them anywhere and so fun to do activities with. We have a one year old so i can really see the positive changes, hang in there things get easier.”

But one parent said the teenage years were the best for them, they explained that they despised the baby years as well as screaming toddlers, yet they would prefer a sulky teenager.

“Teenagers still need you a lot, and it is emotionally tiring and stressful worrying you are saying and doing the right things, but it’s still nothing compared to waking every hour, having a baby screaming at you with no way to tell you what’s wrong, not being able to leave the house on your own,” they added.

Personally, it was interesting to see so many people going through the same thing as myself (currently with a 17 month old going on 17). Though answers made me feel seen, I can’t help but think if it’s going to be this difficult until my kids turn into teenagers.

Saying that, I guess each phase has its pros and cons!