03/01/2017 06:58 GMT | Updated 03/01/2018 05:12 GMT

Farage, Bercow And Murdoch Walk Into A Bar: "I Once Had A Pint With Nigel Farage"

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Way back when in 2012, before Brexit, before Trump, and before Honey G, a politics conference in Westminster Hall hosted 800 young, plucky eyed, enthusiastic students.

The big names of the time all spoke, coalition cabinet member Simon Hughes (lost his seat in 2015), Conservative MP Douglas Carswell (now with UKIP), and George Galloway...

Among others included Tony Benn, John Bercow and of course Nigel Farage.

During a lull in the conference my friend and I popped out for a cigarette, this was before vaping was on the menu. Also outside was Nigel puffing on a Mayfair, or a Richmond Superking, or another authentically working-class cigarette. I asked for one, he said no, then disappeared down some crevice.

In search of a Guinness and some pork scratchings we headed to the nearest pub and who was there but recent Celebrity Big Brother contestant, wife of the speaker of the House of Commons and part time curtain model, Sally Bercow.

Mrs. Bercow was just about to start an interview with a Sunday Times journalist and his video team, when the camera man, in search of a vox pop, turned to us and asked us some really farcical, unimportant, tabloid-esque questions like 'what do you think about the wives of politicians going on reality TV shows?' and 'is this a consequence of the erosion of our democracy and merely the start of the merging of the political and the celebrity which will no doubt climax in some absurd populist solution such as the election of a famous business magnate to, say, the position of President of the United States of America?'

Oh how we laughed.

Suddenly, like an out of work Basset Hound, Nigel Farage picking up the scent of nearby media appeared. "Oh what a surprise to see you here Sally and significant members of one of Britain's largest and oldest newspapers", Farage said, "would you mind if I joined you and these young strapping lads for a locally sourced British ale for British people?", he continued, whilst pulling up a chair before anyone had the chance to reply.

Farage went on to embarrass himself, desperate for some attention, achingly trying to get across his agenda.

I remember thinking, how can this pathetic fool who wont even share a cigarette be an important member of the British political scene? How can a bigot and a racist who has to gatecrash someone else's interview for some media attention be the leader of a political party? How can anyone believe this idiot that the EU is the bad guy and he is the good guy?

We left Sally, Nigel, and the Times team to tackle the worlds problems and went back to the conference to watch Tony Benn. The only speaker of the day to receive a standing ovation.