We go through life thinking one thing about ourselves and worrying frantically what other people will be thinking or saying about us the other times. Do we ever really know what people might be thinking or saying? We know from studies that we hold onto those negative words said about us much longer than we let the good or kind words about us, but why is this the case? Are we just willing to believe others perception or thoughts on us if it's that of a negative?
Perception plays a massive role in our lives now, from the perceived reality from our social media accounts to the public personal and face we must adopt when needs must. There is a strong mental health campaign reinforcing that it is 'ok not to be ok' and to try and encourage people to talk about things when life isn't as great as we all let on it 'should' be. This is all to be encouraged and supported, and perhaps we could all dovetail in on this with some serious positive self talk about the people in our own lives.
Tooting ones horn especially in Ireland is seen as being cocky, confident and loving oneself. But shouldn't we love ourselves and be proud of ourselves and our accomplishments. Now don't get me wrong nobody needs to be hearing how great you are 24/7 but when needs must I think we could all get better and saying ' do you know what, I did a great job on that and I feel great about it'.
Many people's first instinct is to refuse a compliment, it's how we roll. Scenario 1: " Oh you look great" answer " Oh god I do not, I look terrible, my hair and my skin, this outfit.. blah blah blah" Because we think if we say, "Thank you" the conversation will fall flat and that person will then think less of you in some way " Oh she is above her station!"
Tooting other peoples horns is all part of my job working in PR it's what I do on the daily and I love it, but it was only this week when I was at my first board meeting and I heard someone boosting me up and someone who I didn't know even knew that I was involved in this particular project or what it was, what it represented or the impact it has had on people's lives. I was truly taken aback. Thus in proving you never know what people know or think about you.
As always it got me to thinking about more than myself. I made a rule to myself when I was 22 that when I heard anything nice, kind or positive being said about anyone I knew, I would always tell them.
This week alone, I have heard 3 powerful things and one to girl who I only know through social media, (some may think this is mad but you know this is how life is now) She came up in a conversation and what was said was incredible, I was delighted for her so today I messaged her to tell her and her reaction was one that even surprised me. It was great, she was delighted of some real feedback as anyone who has a presence on line will know as you never really know what people are thinking about your work. Another friend who never sees herself as being pretty, was called that exact words by different people this week, so she also heard from me. I was like a lunatic messaging people all this goodwill, but it is important.
We must be kinder to one another and we must support, encourage and give the love to people. To ourselves we must work on letting the negative words we tell ourselves and hear about ourselves go. Maybe give it a go, share the love and the positive talk and see just how you too can bring a little love and a smile to people's day.