Wednesday was Valentine’s Day or, as I am going to call it going forward, Vanilla Day
Why is marriage, and monogamy at that, still held up as the abiding principal we want upheld from our leaders (and their non-elected spouses?) Why are we so retrograde about our politicians? Why do we expect them to have conservative spouses, whichever political flag they might be flying?
Though I continue to believe, seven years on, that multi-partner relationships are a healthier and happier choice for me, my family and my partners, I have no problem admitting that at least one catalyst for my inclination was a painful formative experience.
What if you could be openly welcomed with both your lovers at the local chemist... what if coming out as trans, queer or poly was simply one of many choices during adolescence... what if going to a dungeon to play kinky games on a Saturday night was as accepted as going out for a curry... What would the world look like?
So you've thought about it, and you think you might want to try an open relationship. An open relationship means more sex, right? Well, maybe. But not before you've done a lot of talking.
I don't speak for anyone else. But for me, a open relationship is the freedom to choose. My boyfriend chooses to be with me and to have children with me and (not entirely coincidentally!) I do with him. It is an active choice. For when he chooses, he can also be with others (as can I).
It's a fact. Whilst most humans might have an inclination to 'pair bond' many of us also have a roving eye. At a biological level our most successful survival tactic is not - as the church might tell you - remain faithful and worship a deity in the hope of salvation, it is to breed with many partners.
My friend said "My boyfriend doesn't want you to come over. He thinks you're a slut who's just going to jump into bed and have sex with us." I could only assume from this statement that he had mistaken the word 'polyamorist' for 'rapist'.
If you've been brought up in Western society your first exposure to polyamory probably occurred through pop culture.