With marriage declining and divorce rates for older couples increasing, there’s a non-traditional option on the rise: an open relationship.
“Either it sucks and the two of us go home and have sex with each other, or it’s awesome and the three of us go home and have sex with each other.”
On our second date he told me he had cancer. Three weeks later, it turned out to be a false alarm. But after that we lived on borrowed time.
When people ask me how open our relationship is, what they mean is - how far have I opened the door? Is it ajar? Do you discuss when and who to invite into your relationship? Or are you free to date whomever you want, whenever you want and for however long you want?
I don't speak for anyone else. But for me, a open relationship is the freedom to choose. My boyfriend chooses to be with me and to have children with me and (not entirely coincidentally!) I do with him. It is an active choice. For when he chooses, he can also be with others (as can I).
Whilst I may be in an open relationship, I am not some enlightened being immune from jealousy. I am not above jealousy. Because I, like the rest of the planet, used jealousy to get what I wanted and needed as a child. Jealousy is a highly successful tactic the mind has for seeking security outside ourselves.
If you've been brought up in Western society your first exposure to polyamory probably occurred through pop culture.
Arguments and evidence suggest the stigma over open relationships could be changing, and in the future, this lifestyle might even become the norm. Researchers compare co-habitation before or instead of marriage, around which there was a similar strong taboo just a generation ago.