31/05/2012 07:13 BST | Updated 30/07/2012 06:12 BST


I am so excited my brain can literally not think in a straight line why because we're all buzzed up counting down the days left to the Queen's Diamond Geezer weekend which is now literally only a few days away and I literally cannot wait so those people going Oh they represent social injustice - Let me ask you this where else in the world do you get a FOUR DAY BANK HOLIDAY? Nowhere. NOWHERE! END OF! Four day Bank Holiday? FOUR! If THAT'S not FREEDOM I don't know what is.

Here in London it's totally wall-to-wall Britain's Got Monarchs and total ROYAL FEVER: this is how mad it's getting right, the place is thumping rocking and busting OUT with PATRIOTISM....E.G. I already seen three houses within a three mile radius of where I live North London with bunting...and it's only Wednesday! and in a T****'s supermarket I seen a bloke who works there dressed in a union jack suit with a union jack hat waving a union jack! Totally mad. Making a total prick of hisself in public out of sheer pride!!! But that is what patriotism is all about... And I seen a tourist in Camden Town with a Keep It Royal t-shirt on and it made me so proud to be British I started crying on the bus. In fact I'm crying now writing this.

There might be other Royals in other countries but...I'm not being funny - how can they be proper royals really when they're foreign, can hardly speak the language, just their own...they don't call it the Danish Queen's English do they? CASE CLOSED....can you imagine the Queen's head on a Euro? NO I DIDN'T THINK SO! Royal Family, they're a role model for us all -why? they LOOK AFTER THEIR OWN - even the stupid ones get loads of dough, police protection, their own house...except obviously they don't look after the ones who have been WELL OUT OF ORDER and that's why on Sunday evening round our way we're burning an effigy of Fergie, I mean there is a limit.

And I tell you something they don't need no-one doing no official security because if anyone ANYONE tried anything the people of this country would rise as one and have 'em there and then on the spot; I MEAN IT - during that regatta, yeah? - if anyone even LOOKS at the Queen's boat funny, they are dead; DEAD! even a seagull: SHOW SOME RESPECT - if anyone starts up - like, The royals are parasites, and inbred and some of them hang out with paedos, and take money for nothing and any more of those filthy lies then we are not afraid to kill for our country how dare they even think it? They are our role models - we ALL want a life of luxury doing nothing that's where those lefties don't understand so shut it you red SCUM! Oy Mate! This is a free country! So shut your lefty mouth before I shut it for you! And just let a calorie even THINK of coming within a three miles of Kate Middleton and trying to ruin her figure...if a calorie tries to get anywhere near that LOVELY girl I will personally throw my own body in the way and kill that calorie stone dead with my own bare hands.

Just remember: we might not have an empire no more but we've still got the outfits.