So you may have read in The Sun that a large Domino's Garlic & Herb dip contains more calories than two McDonalds burgers.
And I bet you thought, what the hell, surely Satan has not ruined the greatest dip of all time? Why can I not have nice things? Or possibly just, balls.
Maybe this explains why you've not been losing weight when you've been so damn good most of the week. Don't worry, you're not the only one. It's just that most of us have no idea how many calories are in the things we eat, even the innocuous ones like dips and sauces.
So first off let's check for ourselves with a quick google to see how many calories are in both of them, and then a few others.
Where possible I checked resources including the USDA to verify that they all had the same calorie counts for the food listed below. Where their database did not account for them, I checked the official websites and My Fitness Pal.
Domino's Normal Dip - 174 kcals per pot
The Large Dip is the size of four pots so we have 696 calories per large pot
Two of these are 500 calories, still 196 calories less than the dip
One of these is 133 calories less than a dip
This isn't exclusive to Domino's before anyone thinks I'm taking a massive dump on them. Go and check the labels on almost all of the sauces, drizzles and marinades you pour all over your food. I happen to like Jamie Oliver but go and check his liberal use of Olive Oil and you'll find it's the salad equivalent of a rapper making it rain at the world's largest strip club.
Olive Oil - 800 kcals per 100ml
Hellmann's Mayonnaise - 714 kcals per 100g
Do most of you think about condiments when it comes to weight loss? Do you check how much of them you actually use? Do you know how big a serving really is?
You know that "cheat meal" you deserved because you were so strict during the week, did you know it ruined your entire weekly calorie deficit and is the reason you've not changed this week?
Let's look at it like this - if you're eating 500 calories less than you need each day Monday - Friday, and you normally need 2,000 calories to stay the same weight, one cheat meal can ruin everything so fast it'd upset Usain Bolt.
Let's say you need 2000 calories per day or 14,000 calories across the week to stay the same weight. Click here to know how much you need.
We're trying to lose weight and were "good" Monday to Friday. We ate our 1500 calories per day, meaning we ate 7,500 calories in those 5 days.
Now if we're looking at losing a pound of body fat, we're going to be trying to eat 3,500 calories less than our maintenance number of 14,000 across the week. Which means the target is 11,500 calories for the week. Or another 3000 calories for our Saturday and Sunday.
So if we had a Domino's 14" Cheese Pizza - 2223 kcals for the whole thing.
Plus the Large Dip - 696 kcals.
Plus the Ben & Jerry's (cause damn right) - 1,150 kcals for the 500ml tub.
We have now eaten 4069 calories in one meal.
Which let's say we ate that in an hour, maybe even two because I'm feeling generous. That means we've now consumed 11,569 calories already and our target was only 11,500 for the week! We've still got another 46 hours left yet which means that we're now in a position where we've only got 2431 calories to eat before we're now overeating for the week!
God dammit, it was only one meal!
And even sticking to 2431 feels unlikely if we add in things like drinking and hangover food. McDonald's breakfast anyone? If only they delivered. Oh and we're moving less 'cause, Netflix and stuff.
It all adds up rather quickly I'm afraid. Life's annoyingly unfair. If it wasn't broccoli would taste like Krispy Kreme and I would be in Game of Thrones riding a dragon. Alas it doesn't and I'm not. So I could either keep dreaming or I could face reality and deal with it with my eyes open.
And that is what I would like to challenge you to do.
Really pay attention to everything that goes into your mouth (and yes I wrote that giggling at the innuendo) for the whole week. Do away with the notion that you deserve an unaccounted for cheat meal because you've been "so good" because as you can see that is not how life works.
Instead perhaps address why you think dieting has to be so boring in the first place that it requires cheating on?
You can have burgers and lose weight you know. And wine, doughnuts or whatever else you like - you just have to find the right amount of it within your calories.
The right amount, for the record is some semblance of things that allows you to function, enjoy your food, achieve your goals (this may require some level of hunger but not crazy levels) and not be a social recluse or resemble the indulgent kid from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.