Uber-right wing Tory Owen Paterson (worth £1.5million) knows exactly who is responsible for pressure on public services, jobs and wage levels - and of course it isn't government cuts to NHS funding, the aftermath of the global economic meltdown caused by the banking sector or corporates using zero hours contracts to deny employees the minimum wage and holiday and sick pay.
Nope. It's the "tidal wave" of immigrants entering the UK.
So somewhere there is a secret cabal of Polish, Romanian and Bulgarian labourers orchestrating the dismantling of the public health care system, conspiring to lower all our wages, and forcing businesses to only offer part-time jobs at poverty wages.
Who are these people? Why are they doing this? Can Owen or Nigel Farage (£79,000/year and £100,000+ expenses) stop them before it's too late? We can only hope.
Surely as they're all scamming the benefits system, campaigning newspapers like the Sun can winkle them out and expose their sinister plots? After all, Rupert Murdoch's (worth £8.2billion) journalists don't seem to have any trouble finding British benefits scroungers who'll admit they're better off not working each and every week.
It's a funny one though isn't it? That there are trashy dolebludgers out there who claim they're better off remaining unemployed? I can't imagine why the Sun would choose to present the propaganda stories they're forever printing the way they do... you'd think the story wouldn't be that the dole is too high, but that wages are too low?
But austerity is here to stay apparently, although sometimes I struggle to work out whether it's the benefit scroungers, those meddlesome immigrants or even the Muslims who've created this terrible state of affairs.
All we can do is thank God rich businesspeople and politicians are doing their best to make sure there are at least a few starvation wage jobs out there for the rest of us to fight over.
Millionaire George Osborne is suffering under austerity too, honest
And how dare we rail against such paragons of public service while they slave away at saving the country by cutting NHS budgets; let alone the banks and businesses picking off the profitable parts of the health service - after all, they are investing in our future out of the goodness of their hearts.
Way back in 1942, George Orwell, looking back on the way Stalin, the fascist regimes of Hitler and Mussolini and businesspeople such as the then-CEO of Texaco had worked together to crush the social revolution that swept Spain upon Franco's revolt, wrote: 'Behind all the ballyhoo talked about the materialism of the working class lies the simple intention of those with money or privileges to cling go them.
'The damned impertinence of these politicians and whatnot who lecture the working class for their materialism! All the workingman demands is what these others would consider the indispensable minimum without which human life cannot be lived at all. Enough to eat, freedom from the haunting terror of unemployment... and short enough working hours to leave you with a little energy when the day is done.'
Nothing has changed. When the likes of David Cameron (income over £200,000/year, worth up to £6million, family wealth an estimated £30 million) and George Osborne (salary £134,000, lives rent-free at Downing Street while renting home for £10,000/month) tell us 'we're all in it together', what they mean is everybody else.
And when politicians castigate the poor for having to use food banks to feed their children, you can rest assured their fridges are full. When immigrants are blamed for the consequences of NHS cuts, I guarantee when their children are sick, they have no trouble in accessing healthcare.
And when the poor are told they should consider themselves lucky there are jobs out there that offer wages so low they'd be better off claiming housing benefit in order to pay rent; and holiday and sickness pay was a privilege the mismanagement of the economy by millionaire bankers means millionaire business-owners can no longer afford to offer; I doubt you'll find Farage is worrying about how to pay for getting to and from work. After all, UKIP gives him a £60,000 a year chauffeur allowance.
The popularity of UKIP demonstrates a significant proportion of the electorate has bought into the reprehensible narrative that it is the poor who have created the poverty we're told they happily wallow in.
And as long as the public continues to accept the assurances of the rich that we have to suffer so that they don't have to, the bitterness created will continue to create divisions between ethnic and religious communities that should be working together to destroy zero hour contracts and ensure proper funding for the NHS.