There are a lot of articles going round about the difference between "being hot" or "being beautiful" as a woman, and usually in those articles, men get slagged off for liking a hot and sexy woman, but what is wrong with that? I'm reading more and more about women feeling that men are defining them by "sexual innuendos and defaming premises"? It's true, there's a lot around that is just about sex, about women being treated as lust objects and it's true that we also need to be acknowledged for the deeper part of us that goes beyond that skin-deep layer. But is slagging off being "hot and sexy" the way forward? I doubt it...
I'm reading this article in the Elite Daily from Lauren Martin, and it's really made me think; "Do I agree with this, is this true ?" The article describes "the actual difference between hot and beautiful women" and as I'm reading through the list, I'm starting to feel judged.
Lauren writes "Hot is admired from afar; beauty is to be held.
Hot is perception; beauty is appreciation.
Hot is smokey-eyed; beautiful is bare-faced.
Hot is an appearance; beautiful is more than skin deep.
Hot is the way she moans; beautiful is the way she speaks.
Hot is a strong appeal; beautiful is strong mind.
Hot is youthful; beautiful is ageless.
Hot is a one-night stand; beautiful is sleepless nights. Etc"
and as I'm reading I'm becoming a bit obstinate. Why does everything in life have to be "either this or that"? Why can't we be sexy and beautiful? What's wrong with being all these opposites? In fact, I think the world would be a bit happier and more balanced and marriages would last way longer if we would try to embody being sexy, hot, elegant and beautiful.
I quite like being admired from afar and to hold my beauty and elegance as well. I like being smokey-eyed one day and bare-faced the next and I like moaning (the good kind) but I also like speaking with eloquence. I think all of those aspects of me, and of any other woman, are totally amazing and if I were a man, I would certainly love a woman that could be (or that would try to embody) all of the above. I wouldn't want to choose the either /or list, because a woman that embodies all those qualities... wow, what a woman she is!
I like living in a world where we can be all that we were supposed to be, and a woman that knows herself can be all of those things at the right time and place, without degrading herself and without taking it all so personally. When we embrace it all, we can educate men to do the same. Why don't we just end the 'either/or' discussion and the issue of separating things and decide we are all going to be all of those gorgeous feminine aspects?
If there is anything I've learned from 16 years of being a spiritual teacher and guide, it's the following:
The only way to create real peace inside of us, and therefore to create peace in the world is to stop separation, to stop placing things, feelings in the 'either/or" category, to stop judgment and to move on to the 'and/and' category, and when we do, we can take men with us in this attitude.
Isn't that why we become one with men? Why we like sex and making love? Isn't that why we seek relationships, why we marry... to unite opposites? Isn't this what the whole journey of life is all about? Doesn't it make life and the whole world a lot better? It so does! Why else is everybody seeking it?
The secret though is that every union starts within ourselves... and we often seem to forget this.
The world is our mirror, life is balance, and when we balance ourselves in all our feminine qualities we balance men in their amazing male qualities, ALL their male qualities. Do men judge us, when we admire their abs, ass or their eyes? Do we want our men just to have great looks or do we also want them to be great personalities? Think about it, let's start encouraging men to be all of it as well and soon they will like us being all of us just the same! ( if they don't already)
The fact that we are different, opposites, makes life interesting and fun. Life and this world would be incredibly boring if we were all too similar. The more aspects of being a woman we embrace, the more secure we feel and the less we get offended about anything.
© Carin du Burck Photography & Sacha Knop.
Just start making yourself into the best possible version of your sexy, hot, beautiful and elegant self and you will soon have transformed your life into being all, into feeling great and empowered and you will inspire the men in your life - whether they are your partners, sons or friends - to doing the same. They would want to step up to the plate to become all as well! By embracing all, you are creating a better you, a better life and therefore a better world!
Want to learn to be all that you can be? Just get in touch!