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Freelance journalist and full-time word-mangler

theweemo is a freelance journalist and full-time word-mangler who is as inspired by the Viz Profanisaurus as she is Simon Armitage. She drinks too much coffee. Which may become obvious the more of her witterings you read.

After stints as a fashion stylist, beauty journalist, features writer, magazine section editor and ski-resort chalet girl/woman, theweemo now tweets, eats biscuits and writes most days from her parent’s dining table in Norfolk. No topic is too untackleable. Except maybe the economy, Katie Price’s moral code, and the grammatical acceptability of ‘intackleable.’ She is yet to write a book, far preferring to read other people’s books and beat herself up about the fact that she isn’t getting on with her own.

Anyone Can Be Famous These Days, Just Ask Kelly Rowland's Mole

"It's the <em>X Factor's</em> biggest talking point!" The <em>Daily Mail</em> newspaper assures us between endless stories of other big <em>X Factor</em> talking points and tweetpics of No-listers and their recent weight-loss, waving into a mirror wearing a bikini during a <em>Nuts</em> magazine photo-shoot.
07/12/2011 12:44 GMT

Being Mariah Carey's Twin Babies and Other Things Impossible to Imagine

Mariah-Interest resurfaced last week following a series of external prompts depicting the sort of life for which babies 'Monroe and Moroccan' are unswervingly destined. As a result of which, theweemo has spent considerable time (42 minutes) wondering what it must be like to grow up having popped out of a Diva.
22/11/2011 23:29 GMT

Marks & Spencer Celebrate Christmas...Cowell-Style

To plant the really not-ever-so-Christmassy bonnet on it this year, M&S have taken the 'carol singers at your front door' motif and run with it, re-casting the traditional shower of untalented local school kids (not without some degree of irony, theweemo notes) with this year's <em>X Factor</em> contestants.
09/11/2011 23:36 GMT

Important Life Lessons We Can Learn From Bullseye

Is not the United States of America too wrong and big and shiny to handle such a keepsake as <em>Bullseye</em> and successfully leave its mystique intact? Will not its wrong, big and shinily-expensive mitt crush this small, culty TV memory as it attempts to pick it up and shake the loot out of it?
28/10/2011 23:59 BST

Important Life Lessons we can Learn From Downton Abbey

For many of us - especially perhaps Liam Fox this week - escapism is everything. From boredom. From endless Loose Women. From feelings of being as vastly unfulfilled as a Little Chef chef. <em>Downton Abbey </em>is one such retreat. It looks nice, it sounds nice and I bet it would smell nice too.
12/10/2011 14:52 BST