Do you want my alternative take on the ongoing row between Harriet Harman and the Daily Mail over paedophilia, the future of coalition governments in the UK and Angela Merkel's visit to London to see her 'naughty nephew' David Cameron? Would you like to see me attempt to speak some German on camera, despite not knowing a word of it? Here's the political week in 60 seconds...
he fact that Mrs Merkel is visiting Britain is of great importance given the political circumstance of Europe, however, before Mr Cameron gets ahead of himself, he should focus on bringing his party back into government in 2015, rather than dealing with EU matters which may not even materialise should he fail to win the next general election.
We must harness the EU to create jobs and attract investment into the UK and to streamline regulations for our smallest companies... But this doesn't interest Tory rebels precisely because they don't want reform to work. They want to pretend that the EU is un-reformable because their true agenda is to leave the EU.
German chancellor Angela Merkel is being treated like political royalty, a consequence of her country's economic power as well as prime minister David Cameron's desperate need for friends in Europe. Few would argue about the position of Germany as the economic powerhouse of the European Union but what can Britain learn from the German economic model?
Angela Merkel's call yesterday for a European network "so that one shouldn't have to send emails and other information across the Atlantic" is hardly surprising given the revelations of how German and other European citizens have had their data indiscriminately collected as they use web services based overseas.
A break-up of the eurozone may be where we are headed if spending cuts take precedence over debt defaults and if the financial crisis continues to be cynically portrayed as a morality play. What the continent needs is a debt jubilee and a halt to austerity. Oh, and some solidarity. Otherwise, a second Great Depression beckons.