Many of us with eating disorders, like to personify the illness as a separate person or voice. 'Ana' for Anorexia and 'Mia' for Bulimia. Don't get me wrong; Ana is definitely not a 'friend' even though the internal voice I hear says otherwise. Personifying my eating disorder is definitely something that I found rather useful in my road to recovery.
Anorexia is tiresome, people keep using the word choice. "You can choose to eat or not Claire" but it isn't a choice not like the choice between having a bath or a shower. My choices are very powerful ones with very powerful consequences, I feel the word 'choice' in this situation is too mild a word.
I worry about my health, I know I could die, I know I could lose out on life and opportunities if I am not well enough to grasp them with both hands. It's a spiral and it's all spinning around my head and it's making me dizzy. I'm constantly out of breath. Exhausted. Exhausted by this mental illness.
I am not blaming ANYONE for causing my illness. However, I do think such magazines should be more positive about every body type. Maybe they could talk in terms of nutrition not new 'diet trends', so young people understand what healthy food is doing for them. And just maybe they could help encourage us to love ourselves?
Getting help is not supposed to be the traumatic part, experiences like mine are damaging, I will never forget that night, these memories stick with people forever and they have the potential to stop people seeking help. Imagine the outrage there would be if a cancer sufferer was put in a cell because there were no hospital beds. It is totally unacceptable.