What are you still doing here? You're like a stray following me home; shoo... go away... start writing! Alright, we both know I don't really want you to go away, otherwise I would have just stopped writing and gone and made another coffee.
What is so insufferable about the sticklers is that they will brook no argument. They primly purse their mouths. They stop you mid-anecdote and then they trot out this mealy-mouthed line that they have been using for decades and decades: "I think you mean 'fewer' rather than 'less."
So far, so seventies, but this is not simply an exercise in nostalgia. By effectively becoming the ultimate format, the Internet has ushered in a timeless culture not necessarily concerned with what's new anymore as much as what's best.
It's about 50 miles from Selma to Montgomery in Alabama, and it's 50 years this year since civil rights supporters made that walk three times. The release of the movie Selma tells the story of those walks, with David Oyelowo as civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jnr.
If ever there was a venue which epitomised our approach to music heritage in this country, it is the Ealing Club. Quite simply it's a huge missed opportunity on a number of levels. The council could be attracting visitors from all around the world to explore the music heritage of Ealing.
You may have a hundred thousand words of great content, but you may end up stripping away half of that content to preserve your best posts. It is worth thinking about whether you want a literal version of your blogs in book format or whether you can do more with the text when planning how it might be read on the page.
Here is somebody who can command a room with a single look, who can conjure up harmonious music from a hundred disparate individual musicians with just a twitch of his right hand, yet we found Sir Simon Rattle to be thoughtful, humble and thoroughly grounded in the stuff of everyday life.
In the UK there's never been a trans woman playing a trans woman in a recurring role in a TV series. Whenever there is a trans character before they're played by Cisgender women. What was going to happen, how would people react, would I be hated?
Brands really do have the potential to evolve. Those brands that get it right over the next 10 years will pull away from the primordial pack, from the push messaging of boiler room marketeers. "Sell! Sell! Sell!" is not the future of branding.
Why do we need such a day? Is it really still necessary? No doubt, the movement is brilliant. It's all about celebrating women's achievements, calling for greater awareness of women's equality and the advancement of women in more senior leadership roles.
A beautifully observed and sensitive modern love story with faultless performances contrasts with Pierre Dulaine's dream of ballroom dancing bringing Jewish and Palestinian children together.
I was aware that the language was old fashioned, and in some cases offensive, but it never got in the way of my love of the books or the stories they told because (like most children) I cared more about characters than grammar.
In this general election year, politicians are in listening mode, so what message would Wheatle wish to transmit to them? Inequalities and confused messages about literacy would be at the top of the list.
I can see why the BDSM community are up in arms. Here is a man who stalks his victim with a degree of fortitude that it's hard not to feel some begrudging sense of awe. He knows her bank details, in fact he has a built an entire file on her and flies out to interrupt a holiday with her parents, checking in to the same hotel as she's enjoying cocktails with her mother.
This zesty play, as I said earlier, is really about relationships, solid and true to life ... not that any of the protagonists had the answer as to how they might work properly. Surely now they should all head to Freud's couch.
Swimer clearly has talent, but is apparently prepared to operate well within its bounds. And unlike Mrs Brown, the result has no shortage of illustrious fans. Have expectations really fallen so low?