Let me take you back. It's September 2014 and David Cameron faces the very real prospect of being the Prime Minister who oversaw the demise of the United Kingdom...
With the general election fast approaching, the two major parties grapple with each other over the 34% mark in the polls, neither apparently able to spring ahead to a lead. It is looking to be an exciting election night, but I hope to ruin that for you by predicting, on the basis of historical events, that Ed Miliband will be our next prime minister.
The aim of this three-part article is to demonstrate that every deficit narrative and soundbite question or statement that you have heard parroted thousands of times are simply tricks aimed to mislead people.
The establishment parties often emphasize that responsible politicians need to make 'difficult decisions'. After supporting fracking, cutting subsidies for renewable energy, cutting the budget for HMRC and handling billions to private providers for NHS services - it seems to me that 'making difficult decisions' is nothing but Orwellian double speak for making the wrong decisions.
Scenarios must be in place to ensure integration is successful and immigration is efficient and responsible, to ensure the spreading of skills across a populace instead of a concentration. What good is a United Kingdom, if the people, it's most important resource, are not being shared?
Not long now before Britain will be the proud owner of a lovely shiny, brand spanking new government. Or a slightly souped up version of a rather knackered and clapped out old one. Or, as appears far more likely, a cut and shut job made up by the welding together of the diametrically opposed ideologies of two, maybe even three competing parties.
As the May 2015 election moves closer it is interesting to see what might be offered to charities and social enterprises by the main parties. The value of the charitable sector to the economy is clear, especially in terms of job creation, but the manifesto priorities are rather mixed.
Ed Miliband has made it clear, on numerous occasions, he won't get into bed with Nicola Sturgeon. In fact some of his most passionate responses have come when dealing with this question. We now know Russell Brand has more chance of securing a cabinet position as there is clearly a very good chance he and Ed have at least shared a bed.
The real patriot will choose a British political party to preserve the stability needed for economic growth, and the mother of all parliaments. She still remains our best hope for independence from greater Europe, in the world, and from self-destructive sectarianism.
Election season brings out the worst in people. We turn a blind eye to our politicians as they rummage through dirty laundry, hoping for something gross. Some of us even salute them for it (their courage, strength and indefatigability). But all I see are shameless perverts - looking for panties to sniff. But even in this this toxic atmosphere, one group gets it worse than others.
For Labour the hurdle rate might just be 275 with an SNP deal by deal, vote by vote approach. Can Cameron get his polling back to 290? He has been there before in this campaign. Watch that Ukip vote for the coming week and watch out for 'shy' Tories perhaps set to confound the pollsters.
We have four men, all vying for our vote, all trying to show they are caring and compassionate leaders. All scrambling around at the last minute promising us the world, or indeed, the world as they see it. Why are they allowed to keep tagging incentives onto their manifestos?
It may be that Britain is too stubbornly conservative by nature to implement most of Miliband's progressive agenda, in the same way that America was too sceptical to support most of Obama's most ambitious reforms. But the only way to test this is to try. If not, it is likely that Labour will revert to the centerism it adopted in the 1990's.
The old certainties of General Elections are fading fast. None more so that the old two or two-and-a-half party system. With a more complex and diverse electorate has come a more complex political system and a wider range of parties.
We all have that moment, as a child, when the realisation comes that every other dad is not quite like our own. Mine came early. I was talking to a n...
We are only looking like a country forced into muddied and muddled coalitions because none of our leaders is good enough for us to vote for them. And the one-that is can't, in any circumstance, win other than in coalition. Sturgeon is cleaning the u-bend. It should be whistle-clean by the time Boris and Dave step up.