I get the feeling that he's typing one-handed, so decide now's as good a time as any to go into silent mode. He gives it one final go. "I shaved today," he says. I see the email has an attachment: a photo, which I open. Yes, he's shaved all right. Everywhere. Instead of a smooth chin or chest, I see gleaming genitalia - Spam-pink with sensitivity and not a hair to be seen...
Calling bullshit as often as we do means we've started to become mistrustful of the little knowledge we are presented with. From bogus quotes and photoshopped images to out and out lies dressed as news, it's all out there to fit agendas, appease trouble makers and rile up the stupid.
Think about it. Social communication is affecting a lot more than just your ability to get anything done because you want to tweet just one more time... this is the social society.
My ex-boyfriend really annoyed me. The guy before that infuriated me. The one I was with for five years? Constant frustration. But the guy who I dated for a few weeks but never really clicked with? Didn't annoy me at all. Inoffensive just doesn't really do it for me.
Milly and I were in a Brockley coffee shop when I shared my observation. We always spoke with vigour and despite her femininity our meetings had a Frost/Nixon style frisson. Old fashioned literate types would call her bookish. I would call her a nerd. A hot nerd.
If you're single and fed up with it, finding love can feel impossible. Often it's a combination of the psychological and the practical that stops us from finding love. So take a breath, and if you're ready, let's take a look at what you might need to change and do... to make it happen for you.
Confidence is essential. People often ask how to become confident. The answer is as simple to understand as it is difficult to practice: tell yourself you are the most intelligent and attractive person in the room. Tell yourself persuasively enough and it will come true.
It seems like online dating has its own set of rules, some of them more obscure than you might think. For example, apparently you are likely to get more hits if you wear red in your profile picture. Also, and this is not research, just anecdotal, you are less likely to get hits if your profile pic is a selfie (no friends).
Valentines Day is fast approaching. If you're single this may fill you with dread as you contemplate yet another year watching couples celebrating together wondering when your true love will come along. But success in attracting true love can only happen from a place of joy and happiness within your self.
Using Tinder for me is like eating a MacDonald's. It's something I do often but hate to admit to, however seek to it for some feeling of comfort or joy (that little air punch you do when you match with someone that doesn't look like a shoe)... then eventually having that feeling of guilt set in after my fast food flirting bender.
Apparently it's really difficult to meet eligible Christians these days. Church-going singletons just can't seem to catch a break. But never fear, that's where Christian Connection comes in. When I first saw the dating website's ad pop up on the London Underground I thought it was a joke, but upon googling it, turns out these guys are totally for real.
Jane went to the bathroom leaving me to ponder my situation. Instinctively, I checked my phone and entered #Brockley into Twitter. The first result gave me a jolt: 'another date with a weirdo at The Orchard in #Brockley - at least the risotto was good! Haha #loser'
While researching for my book, The Flirt Interpreter, I interviewed 100 men in four different international, Western cities. I asked them if they would like it if a woman approached them and asked them out. The answer was a resounding 'yes!' on both counts. Followed by 'as long as it's not done too aggressively'.
Last week PlentyOfFish released a US survey revealing 'the most desirable singles of 2014' and they left us with a less than desirable outlook of finding love online. In fact, the data depicts an image that leaves us wondering if our only hope of finding love is in an episode of Grey's Autonomy.
January marks the most popular time of the year for online dating, with singles worldwide pledging that this is the year they will find love once and for all, and jumping online to do it. Chances are though, if you're single, this won't be the first time you've tried online dating...
So, we may be single, in our 30's & with no sign of marriage, babies or even a relationship on the horizon, but do you know what? No thanks. I'll take a friendly lick on the face & picking up poop over a one night stand & baggage. You can keep your awkward first date dinner for 2, I've got a platonic play date with a Dachshund.