There are three options. The first is that there is no corruption in the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding processes and every report to the contrary is just an extraordinary coincidence, or a conspiracy put together by people bitter about the results of recent World Cup bids. Stop sniggering, it's possible.
Scotland's 1-3 loss against England was the most recent entry into the annals of brutal football slapdowns; those moments where a team gets a glimpse of success, only to see the door of fate slam shut in their face...
The world's biggest brands should all pull out of their relationships with FIFA at the same time, complete with the knowledge that every single football fan - and pretty much every other consumer too - will hail them as heroes. Let their competitors take their place, let them spend billions propping up one of the world's most loathed institutions and face the opprobrium of customers whose sense of right and wrong will have been heightened by a mass walk-out.
Setting multiple alarms is futile as the snooze button is best mates with your laziness. This friendship does not count as an excuse to your boss about your tardiness and will ruin your school reports and job references.
So here we are again; downbeat, un-romanced and underwhelmed by our nation's football team... Shit at the Euros; Shit in World Cup Qualifiers, Shit at the World Cup. Uncle Roy needs to go, and he needs to go now.
As I sat there watching the last few seconds tick ever closer to confirming England's place a-top of the Women's Rugby Union World, I asked, we aren't that bad at sport are we? ... we are actually in a golden period for British sport. If you go through the most popular sports in the UK, you will find we have world beaters everywhere, including football.
What happens if England win the World Cup next year? That's right; as the men's World Cup enters a four-year hiatus, the women's World Cup is still to come... Women's sport makes up just 2% of all sports coverage in the UK. It's a shocking statistic, but I hope it's something that can change over time... There is an appetite for the game and in some countries women's football is huge.
Arsenal have perhaps stolen the show with their acquisition of Alexis Sánchez... Sánchez was the first real star to fall from the World Cup on the back of Chile's penalty shootout exit to Brazil at the last-16 stage. Speculation then mounted as to who would win the race to sign the 25-year-old, with the north London side coming up trumps.
That a country of India's size and growing economic significance does not have a half decent football team is definitely food for thought... Many of the problems surrounding India's football development cohere around its cultural perception.
Fans want to get as close as they can to the sports they enjoy and innovation in cloud and analytics technology is helping create a better fan experience than ever before. Today, sports fans can access real-time information on the sport of their choice on their smartphones, tablets and other devices.
England have featured in 5 of the 6 tightly contested Women's Rugby World Cup finals since its inauguration in 1991, being named champions just once in 1994... England haven't had a very happy summer of sport, and England Women's Rugby stand a good chance at grasping international glory in the coming weeks.
For a player to create a lasting legacy they must look beyond the quick buck and and build something that can bring about real change for the long term. With the growing power of sport and celebrity we will be hoping that the amazing endings are not solely for comic books.
Villa have won 30.5% of the 59 league matches Vlaar has started since signing in 2012, compared to just 11.8% of the 17 he missed, so it's of great importance Lambert convinces him to remain in the Midlands. That, though, is easier said than done when considering the teams taking an interest in him.
Butlins in Bognor Regis I have to say kept us on our toes and our little man was skipping his naps to get in as much as possible of the entertainment. With family budgets not being what they were, less people are going abroad and are now enjoying a holiday in the UK.
Lionel Messi didn't deserve to win the World Cup Golden Ball... it was an incorrect decision, with Maradona going as far as to claim it was all part of a marketing ploy... Did he prove he was the greatest player of all time, no not really. However did he prove that he was the best, most decisive, most influential player at the 2014 World Cup.
Kroos had the best pass success (91.9%) in the Bundesliga last season, and has experience playing for a team who dominates in their domestic league... Rodríguez is expected to be the headine-hogging signing for Madrid this summer. His form in Ligue 1 and at the World Cup saw elite teams take an interest in the attacker...