Setting multiple alarms is futile as the snooze button is best mates with your laziness. This friendship does not count as an excuse to your boss about your tardiness and will ruin your school reports and job references.
So here we are again; downbeat, un-romanced and underwhelmed by our nation's football team... Shit at the Euros; Shit in World Cup Qualifiers, Shit at the World Cup. Uncle Roy needs to go, and he needs to go now.
As I sat there watching the last few seconds tick ever closer to confirming England's place a-top of the Women's Rugby Union World, I asked, we aren't that bad at sport are we? ... we are actually in a golden period for British sport. If you go through the most popular sports in the UK, you will find we have world beaters everywhere, including football.
What happens if England win the World Cup next year? That's right; as the men's World Cup enters a four-year hiatus, the women's World Cup is still to come... Women's sport makes up just 2% of all sports coverage in the UK. It's a shocking statistic, but I hope it's something that can change over time... There is an appetite for the game and in some countries women's football is huge.
Arsenal have perhaps stolen the show with their acquisition of Alexis Sánchez... Sánchez was the first real star to fall from the World Cup on the back of Chile's penalty shootout exit to Brazil at the last-16 stage. Speculation then mounted as to who would win the race to sign the 25-year-old, with the north London side coming up trumps.
That a country of India's size and growing economic significance does not have a half decent football team is definitely food for thought... Many of the problems surrounding India's football development cohere around its cultural perception.
Fans want to get as close as they can to the sports they enjoy and innovation in cloud and analytics technology is helping create a better fan experience than ever before. Today, sports fans can access real-time information on the sport of their choice on their smartphones, tablets and other devices.
England have featured in 5 of the 6 tightly contested Women's Rugby World Cup finals since its inauguration in 1991, being named champions just once in 1994... England haven't had a very happy summer of sport, and England Women's Rugby stand a good chance at grasping international glory in the coming weeks.
For a player to create a lasting legacy they must look beyond the quick buck and and build something that can bring about real change for the long term. With the growing power of sport and celebrity we will be hoping that the amazing endings are not solely for comic books.
Villa have won 30.5% of the 59 league matches Vlaar has started since signing in 2012, compared to just 11.8% of the 17 he missed, so it's of great importance Lambert convinces him to remain in the Midlands. That, though, is easier said than done when considering the teams taking an interest in him.
Butlins in Bognor Regis I have to say kept us on our toes and our little man was skipping his naps to get in as much as possible of the entertainment. With family budgets not being what they were, less people are going abroad and are now enjoying a holiday in the UK.
Lionel Messi didn't deserve to win the World Cup Golden Ball... it was an incorrect decision, with Maradona going as far as to claim it was all part of a marketing ploy... Did he prove he was the greatest player of all time, no not really. However did he prove that he was the best, most decisive, most influential player at the 2014 World Cup.
Kroos had the best pass success (91.9%) in the Bundesliga last season, and has experience playing for a team who dominates in their domestic league... Rodríguez is expected to be the headine-hogging signing for Madrid this summer. His form in Ligue 1 and at the World Cup saw elite teams take an interest in the attacker...
Every four years when the World Cup comes along, it must feel like a brand new shop opening for Premier League managers, filled with a number of new products on shiny displays. Is it wise, however, to judge a player solely on their World Cup performances? Here are six players who, despite having a decent individual World Cup, shouldn't be at the top of the Premier League manager's wish list just yet.
It's time that other clubs - and particularly owners - began taking a stand too. Modern-day football is crying out for a dose of common sense, and unless those involved unite to bring this madness to an end, then the game will continue to go to rack and ruin.
What Germany have done so well in promoting and developing talent from their youth teams in recent years is conspicuously absent from the English setup... In England, the mentality when it comes to age restricted international tournaments is completely wrong.