The opening ceremony of the 2014 Commonwealth Games had it all. Giant Tunnock's tea cakes. Small Scottish terriers. John Barrowman being carried aloft over a field of heather. And James McAvoy in a kilt.
All in all, we think this tweet summed it up best:
Everyone else is seeing this too right? #Glasgow2014— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 23, 2014
Or as someone else put it:
— Lisa (@BiscuitAhoy) July 23, 2014
Yes, Glasgow's opening ceremony was bonkers and brilliant - so let us guide you through it, via the medium of Twitter funnies...
First up: John Barrowman (he's from Glasgow, you know)...
It's funny when John Barrowman plays the Scottish version of himself.— Morven Christie (@MissMorven) July 23, 2014
John Barrowman is illegal in 42 of 53 Commonwealth countries. #CommonwealthGames— Scott Matthewman (@scottm) July 23, 2014
If this segment doesn't end with Begbie glassing Barrowman I'll be very disappointed.— Duke Mitchell (@DukeMitchell) July 23, 2014
Barrowman was performing an original song about all things Scottish:
You're all laughing now but this is actually going to be our national anthem if we vote yes.— Grant Russell (@STVGrant) July 23, 2014
It was then time for the giant Tunnock's tea cakes. Of course.
Woman about to be crushed by world's largest Tunnock's tea cake "never saw it coming". pic.twitter.com/zk5dnHH8J6— Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) July 23, 2014
Initiate eBay search tomorrow for those giant Tunnocks props— Lauren G (@LollyGee) July 23, 2014
There's dancing Tunnocks Teacakes... Brazil is so jealous right now :-)— Heather Hill (@Hell4Heather) July 23, 2014
I hope there's merch. Those giant Tunnock's hats could be the new Wenlock and Mandeville. #CommonwealthGames— Vikki Stone (@vikkistone) July 23, 2014
Mmmm, sport. pic.twitter.com/hyAuHNeLJD— Gary Slapper (@garyslapper) July 23, 2014
And then Nessie showed up:
Nessie. Doesn't he play for argentina....— Tim Vine (@RealTimVine) July 23, 2014
It was clearly all becoming rather camp. And gloriously bonkers...
It's like watching a really bad pilot episode for a new series called "McGlee". #CommonwealthGames— Jarl Kristiansand (@neurosceptic) July 23, 2014
Apparently, Glasgow organisers went to Eurovision Song Contest & said: "Well, that's fine but how can we make it more gay?"— martin kelner (@martinkelner) July 23, 2014
Who put Father Ted in charge of the opening ceremony for the Commonwealth Games? #bbcglasgow2014— Catherine Kelliher (@kitty_kelliher) July 23, 2014
It's like the White Heather Club on acid.— nick revell (@nickula) July 23, 2014
Is it a pantomime?— Jamie (@jtlovell1979) July 23, 2014
Then it got all tasteful with a ballet performance to a slow, hipster version of The Proclaimers' '500 Miles'....
ACTIVATE THE PROCLAIMERS— Paul Bailey (@paulbailey) July 23, 2014
Maudlin Proclaimers! #CommonwealthGames— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) July 23, 2014
"500 Miles as we've never heard it before!" Yes, and maybe there's a reason for that.— Daibhid Ceannaideach (@daibhidc) July 23, 2014
That's the Christmas John Lewis advert music sorted then.July 23, 2014
And I would walk 500 miles to escape this #CommonwealthGames— Mandi Riseman (@Mandi_Tinker) July 23, 2014
And then it was the turn of Susan Boyle...
As Susan Boyle sings, Carol Smillie will renovate the stadium.— Eel (@ncguk) July 23, 2014
...who briefly forgot her words:
I AM BRINGING THE WORDS SUSAN. I AM BRINGING THE FUCKING WORDS. HANG ON IN THERE. SORRY I'M LATE.— Jon Pigeon (@PigeonJon) July 23, 2014
The Red Arrows flew overhead...
Red Arrow 1: I can't wait for the opening ceremony! I've got a sock puppet show all planned out.
Red Arrow 2: Just get in your plane, Dave.— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) July 23, 2014
How many red arrows are there? It's like So Solid Crew, I can't keep up.— SG (@sharonGOONer) July 23, 2014
And then Her Maj appeared!
Seems to be an elaborate wind up on Twitter tonight. All kinds tweeting that the Queen is at Celtic Park. I'm not falling for that..........— Tony Barrett (@TonyBarretTimes) July 23, 2014
Right now, a baguette van in Glasgow is preparing tomorrow’s menu. Top of the list: “A Queen’s baton”. #CommonwealthGames— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts) July 23, 2014
Ewan MacGregor showed up (via video) to ask us to donate money to UNICEF...
Ewan, these aren't the games you're looking for— Mitch Benn (@MitchBenn) July 23, 2014
If we give money to these countries, maybe one day they can afford to have a worse Opening Ceremony than we have.July 23, 2014
UNICEF want a fiver off you, which is only 50p more than a bottle of beer at Celtic Park tonight. #capitalism— Aidan John Moffat (@AidanJohnMoffat) July 23, 2014
Yes, Ewan, the amazing thing has already happened #TunnocksDance— Tiffany Murray (@tiffanymurray) July 23, 2014
And then? Then, it was the parade of competing nations...
Queen's watching the parade of countries going "Had it. Had it. Lost it. Sold it. Gave it away. Didn't want it anyway."— tom mcrae (@tommcrae) July 23, 2014
...led by THE MOST ADORABLE OPENING CEREMONY ANIMALS EVER. Release the Scottish terriers!
Literally all it took for you people to go from 'This is shit' to 'This is amazing' was a couple of dogs. I resign from the internet.— Stuart Heritage (@stuheritage) July 23, 2014
Look out for me with Trinidad and Tobago— Archie Clegg (@ArchieClegg) July 23, 2014
Did you see me pic.twitter.com/KJu8bsQakQ— Archie Clegg (@ArchieClegg) July 23, 2014
I wonder if they will be selling those dogs off cheaply after? I might be interested if so.— Tina Sparkle (@rachelbuckenham) July 23, 2014
Sweepstake on which team's dog is first to foul the opening ceremony?— Andrew Griffiths (@colla_voce) July 23, 2014
I hope all the wee dogs shared a dressing room. "Who have you got, Angus?" "Brunei" "Oh darling, how's their human rights record?" "Ruff."— Gary Gillatt (@Gary_Gillatt) July 23, 2014
You know that's just the one dog going round and round? #CommonwealthGames— TheInvisibleWoman (@TheVintageYear) July 23, 2014
If the yes campaign has any sense they'll replace Salmond on the independence debates with one of the Scottie dogs & win in a landslide.— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) July 23, 2014
The Korean team dog seems to be missing... #CommonwealthGames— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) July 23, 2014
Scotland's Commonwealth Games team will be led out by Peter Capaldi, accompanied by K9.— beaubodor (@beaubodor) July 23, 2014
This one's been to model school, look at that strut #openingceremonyJuly 23, 2014
Worst Crufts ever. #Commonwealthgames— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) July 23, 2014
Of course, it was getting quite late by this point...
Goodnight, glorious Glasgow. Dog bless you. x— Lily (@LilyThePurr) July 23, 2014
But the ceremony music was infectious...
I WANT TO GO CLUBBING!!! #CommonwealthGames— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) July 23, 2014
The parade of countries continued...
And once that was over, the most Scottish man ever appeared:
"That's enough Scottish things now. Time for Rod Stewart." #CommonwealthGames— Dave Steele (@hullodave) July 23, 2014
It's that world famous Scot Rod Stewart. All the way from North London #immorescottishthanhim— Mike Vitti (@michaelvitti) July 23, 2014
Still, the Prime Minister was happy...
A new low. The Prime Minister is actually "trolling" Scotland. https://t.co/EfThWCW9vu— Julian Harris (@Hariboconomics) July 23, 2014
But then it was time for some proper eye candy. Release the dishy men in kilts!
…i’ll play commonwealth games with you, James McAvoy— risha; (@risha_) July 23, 2014
Hoy and McAvoy should team up and solve crimes. In kilts. Maybe sexy crimes. In Scotland. I'd watch it.— Rob Smedley (@robsmedley86) July 23, 2014
Hoy & McAvoy S1e1: James is trying to learn a script, but Chris has a particularly noisy new exercise bike. 28mins. BBC1. #bbcglasgow2014— RAB FLORENCE (@robertflorence) July 23, 2014
Apparently I just missed the moment Scarlett Johansson lured a kilted James McAvoy into her white van and drove off #Glasgow2014— Dallas King (@ChampCelluloid) July 23, 2014
McAvoy, what a pro. Landscape all the way... pic.twitter.com/9gK8Q1HDC5— The Media Blog (@TheMediaTweets) July 23, 2014
There was even a message from the International Space Station. Which confused some...
PRETTY CERTAIN SPACE ISN'T IN THE COMMONWEALTH #Glasgow2014— Sarah M (@sazza_jay) July 23, 2014
Space isn't in the Commonwealth. GET YOUR OWN GAMES, SPACE. #Glasgow2014— Steven Neish (@popcornaddict) July 23, 2014
Scottish folk love the idea of space orbit. It means you can wee where you stand and a whisky never truly gets spilled x #CommonwealthGames— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts) July 23, 2014
Then it was time for the arrival of the Commonwealth flag...
"Quick, where's the Commonwealth Flag?"
"I don't know... What does it look like?"
"I don't know... Just knock something up on Publisher"— Gareth Gwynn (@garethgwynn) July 23, 2014
Nicola Benedetti played the violin...
Celtic Park is known for its violins.— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy) July 23, 2014
What's not clear to viewers at home is that's a cello and she's fecking massive #CommonwealthGames— Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) July 23, 2014
And then the baton arrived!
YOU DON'T NEED TO HOLD IT LIKE A TORCH IT'S NOT A TORCH THERE'S NO FIRE IT'S JUST A STICK #openingceremony— Tom Freeman (@SnoozeInBrief) July 23, 2014
And it proved a bit tricky to open!
At last, the comedy act— Mr Wilson (@chislehurst) July 23, 2014
The Queen hasn't watched a Prince fiddle ineptly with his baton in years.— Evan Condry (@lazyevan) July 23, 2014
While they take forever with this baton crap: Imagine Chris Hoy's thighs. #Glasgow2014— Nicola Balkind (@robotnic) July 23, 2014
"Open the baton". That's all he had to do. Open the sodding baton. Jesus, it's a sodding screw top. #CommonwealthGames— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) July 23, 2014
Chris Hoy takes the Gold in Lid Loosening. #CommonwealthGames— Chris Banks (@ChrisBanksMusic) July 23, 2014
Prince Imran goes home and stares sadly at massive pile of unopened jam jars. #CommonwealthGames— Thom (@MrMoth) July 23, 2014
The Queen then read out the message retrieved from inside the baton...
Queenie would've gone way up if she had've said "a year ago today, I placed this note in the baton and screwed the lid on REALLY TIGHT".— tracey douglas (@honeymoon1) July 23, 2014
Please let the Queen's message be "Be excellent to each other and party on dudes!" Please! Please! Please!— Tony Paul Way (@tonypaulway) July 23, 2014
"It gives me the greatest pleasure". Fortunately, unlike the athletes, The Queen didn't have to take an oath of honesty. #CommonwealthGames— Lee 'Budgie' Barnett (@budgie) July 23, 2014
And that was, pretty much, that. Apart from the partying in the streets of Glasgow afterwards...
This forever pic.twitter.com/tHCF3Uw908— Chris Deerin (@chrisdeerin) July 23, 2014
...and a few notable absences:
Looking forward to the Krankies reenactment of Culloden— Craig Meighan (@CraigMeighan) July 23, 2014
If Russ Abbot comes on doing CU Jimmy now my accumulator pays off and I get a new car #CommonwealthGames— Ricardo Autobahn (@ricardoautobahn) July 23, 2014
Looking forward to the finale when Trump whacks Salmond's head off with a golf stick & claims a perm in one.— Simon Hickson (@simonmhickson) July 23, 2014
Still, we'll always have the giant Tunnock's teacakes...
Man, I could go one of these right now. pic.twitter.com/FvIWU8wKOq— RAB FLORENCE (@robertflorence) July 23, 2014
SEE ALSO: Answers To FAQs About The Glasgow Games