The Nine Terrifying Stages Every Student Will Experience When Essay Writing

The Nine Terrifying Stages Every Student Will Experience When Essay Writing
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We all know about the woes of essay writing - it's one of those things that we try to avoid. Unfortunately, completing coursework is essential if you want to actually get a degree, so sometimes we have to whack out the books and power up our laptops for something other than Facebook.

The feeling of horror as we open up a blank Word document and can see nothing but empty white page which must be filled is incredibly daunting. We vaguely remember being able to complete essays in the past, but seem to have forgotten how to do so. Your mind becomes as blank as the essay, you close down the Word document, and moan to your friends about how rubbish this essay is and how you so can't be bothered right now.

Eventually, though, we have to trek to campus and use the library - but find ourselves getting lost in a complicated labyrinth of books, desperately grabbing whatever looks vaguely relevant and making as hasty an exit as possible, laden down with books. This achievement, of course, calls for a break - we've done something academic, that's the work quota achieved for the day.

The concept of procrastination becomes a fine art - we all tell ourselves that we can steam through an essay in a night, as long as we have enough caffeine and/or energy drink. However, we then become so absorbed in everything but Uni work that one short study break has lasted for a week and the essay is due tomorrow.

This calls for a dash to the nearest shop and a basket full of caffeine so you can power through a night of frenzied typing and throw together an essay passable enough for you to (you hope) get a 2:1. The next day, you submit the essay. You're able to justify missing a day of lectures because you need your sleep, and wellbeing comes before work. The lecturers will definitely sympathise with you...

The 9 stages of essay writing
The Horror(01 of09)
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You gaze in horror at the blank Word document open on your screen, realising you've got to fill it with words, and cry a little inside (credit:PeskyMonkey via Getty Images)
The Trek(02 of09)
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You wander around the library, picking up any book that looks vaguely relevant, then lug them all home (credit:Thomas Barwick via Getty Images)
The Despair(03 of09)
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You realise almost none of the books are useful and cry a little more inside (credit:Tom Merton via Getty Images)
The Blagging(04 of09)
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You read half a page from a book on Google Books or an article, copy out a sentence, then reference it as if you've read the whole thing (credit:CollegeDegrees360/Flickr)
The Procrastinating(05 of09)
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You write a few lines. Then go and make tea. You write a few more lines. Then you check your Facebook. You write some more. Right, that's a paragraph done, time for a break (credit:JGI/Jamie Grill via Getty Images)
The Panic(06 of09)
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You suddenly realise your break lasted a week and the essay is due in tomorrow (credit:Brand New Images via Getty Images)
The Dash(07 of09)
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BUY ALL THE ENERGY DRINKS (credit:JeepersMedia/Flickr)
The Rush(08 of09)
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You write stuff down in a hyped up blur (credit:Robert Johnson via Getty Images)
The Sleep(09 of09)
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You submit the essay and go to bed. Yes, you're missing a day of lectures, but you were working - you're sure the lecturers will understand... (credit:James Woodson via Getty Images)