The Blog

A Donald Trump America


Donald Trump, multi-billionaire and idiot, is currently the front runner in the battle to receive the US Republican nomination for the 2016 Presidential Election. As the prospect of a Donald Trump America becomes more and more likely, let's take a look at what the world's biggest 'democracy' might look like this time next year if Trump miraculously wins the race to the Whitehouse.

So, what would change in a Trump America?

America's relationship with the world

One of the obvious changes that would occur in a Donald Trump America is the country's relationship with the rest of the world. With his right wing agenda and disregard for anybody who doesn't agree with him, Trump will be a spitting image of Russia's Vladimir Putin's (maybe just a bit more orange).

The world's superpower will also become a lot less super, and a lot less powerful with a giant umpa lumpa running the country. For starters he might not have much of a relationship with the UK in the future if he is banned from visiting. If he does manage to sneak past border control, we can only hope he finds his way to Bolsover and bumps into the beast himself, Dennis Skinner. That would be a showdown I would pay to see!

Another country who wants nothing less than a Donald Trump America is North Korea. Kim Jong Un will be devastated if he has a new competitor for the title of 'World's Most Mentally Unstable Leader'! In all seriousness though, it is very unfair to compare Trump to Kim Jong Un - Kim still has his real hair.

The White House will need new doors

Another significant change that will have to take place in a Trump led America is the interior of the White House. With an ego as big as Donald's, the doors to the White House will have to be widened to get his self-inflated head into the building. The same goes for the corridors and archways.

The cutlery, soap and writing utensils will have to be made smaller though to accommodate Donald's tiny hands.

There will also be no press room in a Donald Trump Whitehouse. The press are 'so dishonest' and if they ever criticise Trump, they will be sued by his press office for libel!

A very big wall

If there is one thing history has taught us, it is never to build big walls. Donald Trump doesn't care though as he knows this idea will lure the stupid into voting for him. Out of all the things I have posted in this list, this is the least likely to happen. Trump is deluded if he thinks Mexico will pay for the construction of the wall. Furthermore, who actually will build it?

When asked whether he would build a wall on the Canadian border, he called this 'impractical'. Of course it is impractical because only white people will travel from Canada so that doesn't bother the Trump supporters!

If the wall does ever get built, maybe Trump will sell it as a major tourist attraction like the Great Wall of China? Don't expect to climb on the wall to pose for photos though, because you will probably get shot.

The new US Cabinet

As much as Trump would like to have complete control of the world, he will still have to have a handpicked cabinet to assist with the day to day running of the United States. So, who will be on his team:

Donald Trump Jr - Secretary of State

Eric Trump - Wall Builder (well somebody has to do it if the Mexicans won't)

Chris Christie - Attorney General

David Duke - Vice President

Sarah Palin - Any role in the cabinet would be a satirists dream

If we do see a President Trump elected, do come back to this page next year and see if I was right with my predictions.

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