As individuals we are shaped by the times we are born in, different cultures and/or family beliefs. Quite often those raising us have a great influence on the person we turn out to be later on in life. Thus when I stumbled onto #ThisIsMyVigina hashtag and clips on social media I thought I should pen down the other side of my vigina, freed.
For as long as I can remember sex has always been a taboo subject where I come from, in fact, when people are talking about sex, it is always in whispers or by making use of some silly terms, so unless you have spent enough time with them you will never guess the subject! And not to expose my very old-school parents, the closest we ever got to the sex talk is "What business does a girl have with boys" and "I am sure they teach you about all these 'things' at school".
That is what they would say when they see you talking to a boy for a minute or when that kissing scene on welfare TV causes discomfort. With just that, I was left to create meaning from their not so clear random remarks. Now what does a young women's sex life become when her parents assume that she is taught everything she should know about sexual intercourse at school while her teachers also fail to engage in sex talk clearly but just use phrases like "you know what I mean"?
Well, the world is her oyster, she can listen to her friends, read books or navigate the space claiming and unleashing her desires or go without a clue about her position.
While not knowing her position can prevail effortlessly, sex gets better when you know and claim what satisfies you first. Whether you are working with toys, another woman or a man, the ball is yours, in your court! The thrill truly lies in the sex we deserve and only you know what makes you tick!
It's never too late to always have your needs in mind; you should never do anything you are not comfortable with, use your voice, IT'S YOUR VIGINA! That is what I have gathered in my 'short lived' sex life as a young adult, there's no settling for anything but getting it how I want it! I don't have to worry about the talks I never got because now I know where I stand. It's pretty okay to be highly sexed or to not want sex at all, your body equals your desires, you are the captain of this ship.
Believing that we all have our own preferences, I never take in any reads about how I should have sex. We cannot simply generalise any sex related issues. Health and safety tips reads are worth considering, as well as different positions perhaps, anything else you take in should be nothing short of what encourages you to know and own your body in order to get the best out of your intimate sessions.
So go on and make those sex conversations as open as possible, without making what works for you the only option available to others.