20 Laws That Kids Would Pass If They Were In Charge Of The Country

Build swimming pools in every house in the UK? Yes please.

Considering our political situation of late, it can sometimes feel like the country is being run by a bunch of kids. What if it actually was, though?

It turns out a lot of the laws children would pass if placed in charge of the UK are pretty sensible – with environmental concerns featuring as prominently as the “more jelly, wahey” kind of laws you’d expect from the little tikes.

According to the poll of 1,500 children aged five to 12, 63% thought they could do a better job with the country than the current government, and 60% thought that grown-ups had “messed up” the world.

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The survey, commissioned to mark the home-entertainment release of Joe Cornish’s The Kid Who Would Be King, revealed that 88% think adults should listen to kids more, and 67% would like a say in how the country is run.

Free cinema tickets for everyone was the most popular policy, with 38% of children supporting it. And second, with 36% approval, was the call to build swimming pools in every house in the UK.

Not every law was a winner, though: 34% called for parents using the word “no” to be made illegal. Fair enough, they’re children, but how’s that going to work? Plus, 32% called for free ice cream for dinner every night – something which would almost certainly lead to a public health crisis and obesity epidemic.

Calls for more trees to be planted, deforestation to be halted, littering to be criminalised, plastics to be banned, electric cars to be adopted and recycling made mandatory show environmental concerns are close to the hearts of Generation Alpha – even if calls for free moon travel and “criminalising vegetables” are extremely environmentally and kid unfriendly.

And finally, 13% of children called for dads to be forbidden from farting, a cruel and unenforceable law. You can’t take farts away, alright?

The top 20 laws children would pass:

  1. Free cinema tickets for everyone - 38%

  2. Swimming pools to be built in every house in the UK - 36%

  3. Parents using the word “no” to be made illegal - 34%

  4. Free ice cream for dinner every night - 32%

  5. School playtimes to last four hours - 30%

  6. Bedtimes to be banned - 29%

  7. Schools to be abolished in favour of home schooling - 29%

  8. Cartoons to run all day long on TV - 22%

  9. More trees to be planted in the UK - 20%

  10. Try and stop the cutting down of rainforests - 19%

  11. Make dropping litter illegal - 19%

  12. Trips to the moon made available for all children - 19%

  13. Ban all plastics forever - 15%

  14. Make eating vegetables illegal - 14%

  15. Dads are not allowed to break wind - 13%

  16. Make all cars electric - 11%

  17. Ponies to replace cars - 9%

  18. Make mum and dad recycle by law - 9%

  19. Ban pineapple on pizza - 9%

  20. Make it illegal for mums to kiss children at school gates - 8%.