25 Tweets That Capture The Expectation vs. Reality Of Parenting

The truth of parenthood differs greatly from the fantasy.

In the days, months and even years before becoming a parent, many people imagine what it would be like to have children. But the reality of parenthood often differs greatly from the fantasy.

We’ve rounded up 25 funny and honest tweets that sum up the expectation vs. reality of parenting.

May they serve as a reminder to parents that they aren’t alone (and as a useful dose of birth control for non-parents who are unprepared for the chaos...).

Before having kids: My kid will eat all of the foods I eat.
After having a real life human kid: The only thing I eat is chicken nuggets.

— maura quint (@behindyourback) August 12, 2017


Expectation:Frolicking, twirling.

Reality: Me playing a desperate game of peekaboo w the 1yo while just trying to get a shower.

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) August 19, 2017

Saturday morning expectation: The children quietly come snuggle in mommy and daddy's bed. Everyone doses.

Reality: So. Much. Thrashing.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) November 7, 2015

Expectation: Baby's asleep for the afternoon, will meal plan.
Reality: Baby decides to be awake for the afternoon. Will survive on 2$ pizza.

— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) November 28, 2012

Parenting expectation: guiding my child to adulthood w love & wisdom. Reality: "I need to paint a pumpkin like George Washington" @ 8pm

— Spookybritches (@SQLPi) November 30, 2016

Vacation fantasy: beach! sun tan! drinking beer! sleeping! fun!

Vacation reality: car! sunburn! opening juice boxes! screaming! fuck!

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 26, 2014

Dinner expectation: everyone likes what I made & cordial conversation.

Dinner reality: 1 kid is crying because we’re not having chicken nuggets & the other 2 are fighting over a chair.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 29, 2019

Expectation for kids and pets: Playing together, snuggling at the foot of their beds, precious photos of childhood magic

Reality of kids and pets: The 3-year-old and the dog both barking at the garbage truck on a Monday morning

— Lynn (@disasterballet) December 18, 2017

Expectation versus reality.#NailedIt pic.twitter.com/VBQ8aNxqGZ

— Carbosly (@Carbosly) October 5, 2017


Expectation: Hey kids, let’s do something educational and creative!

Reality: Hey kids! GO WATCH YouTube.

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) June 16, 2018

Expectation: A little quiet reading
Reality: the book has 3 pages ripped out and am currently a human trampoline for my toddler#parenting

— Khadeeja Kalanad (@khadeejakalanad) April 22, 2017

New Year's Eve expectation vs reality pic.twitter.com/LW5qeevVeB

— The Dad (@thedad) December 31, 2018

Pregnancy expectation:
My skin is glowing and I feel so alive!

Pregnancy reality: pic.twitter.com/GfanuBco1w

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) May 4, 2017

Thought I’d make a Christmas ornament with my daughter. Ended up with an expectation vs reality tweet instead. pic.twitter.com/avZ9sQbaGi

— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) December 24, 2018

When your baby starts walking:
Expectation: "aaaaw!!!"
Reality: "and so it begins..."#parenthood #toddler #motherhood #parenting

— Vee Murphy (@lilmurphyclan) May 31, 2018

Me as a parent expectation VS reality pic.twitter.com/QEA4bDMTUp

— Lea (@AudreyyHepburn_) December 6, 2016

Expectation: My kids can do yoga with me.

Reality: My 1yo just crawled under my "downward dog", pulled my shirt aside and started nursing.

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) August 13, 2017

Expectation: kids put trash into the trashcan.

Reality: kids put trash into your car.

— Josh Darnit (@JoshDarnit) December 21, 2017

Expectation: Showing my kids all the cartoons I loved as a kid and bonding over my childhood nostalgia

Reality: Watching the same parkour fails on YouTube for 3 years straight

— The Dad (@thedad) March 26, 2018

Mornings as a parent. Expectation: smiling faces, toast, bike rides. Reality: poked awake, required to do impression of Gollum on the toilet

— Adrian Bott (@Cavalorn) August 8, 2013

Expectation: It will be less stressful outside in the pool and will wear the kids out.

Reality: It’s just like inside, but wetter... and MY VOICE IS THE ONLY THING GETTING WORN OUT

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) July 23, 2018

Parenthood expectation: "My kids will be feeding me in sixty years."
Reality: "No, mommy doesn't want anymore fruit loops."#MomLife

— Jenica Saren (@KaNicNac) September 15, 2017

Stay at home Mom expectation: spend all day doing fun and creative activities. Reality: spend most of the day making poop emojis from playdough. 💩#parenting

— Layna G. (@layner_g) January 8, 2018

Expectation- Look at him playing with the bubbles
Reality- Don't drink the soapy pee water#toddlerbath #parenting

— Arlise Andress (@MauBear16) July 29, 2017

[Giving Birth]

Expectation: Birth is a natural beautiful process. I will have a peaceful, gentle homebirth.

Reality: THIS IS WHAT DYING FEELS LIKE No wait, this is worse than death, SWEET DEATH EMBRACE ME oh God I think I’m birthing a semi-truck *muffled screaming sounds*

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) June 16, 2018