09/02/2017 12:36 GMT

Parents Who Found Out Their Child Was A Bully Explain How They Felt

'I couldn't believe she participated in such a thing.'

Every parent likes to believe that their children are always kind and compassionate, but sadly that sometimes just isn’t the case.

With Childline giving over 25,700 counselling sessions for bullying in 2016, according to the NPSCC, clearly someone’s offspring is the perpetrator here.  

Now, in a Reddit thread, parents have explained honestly how they felt and what they did when they found out that their child was a bully.

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“I had a problem with my daughter beating up kids in preschool, of all things. I guess it can happen at any age. We had some major changes at home at the time and she was acting out. The teachers brought it to my attention and it was handled right away.

“Thankfully this was years ago and we haven’t had problems since. I will tell you that I was strangely grateful my daughter was the bully and not the victim―but probably for a different reason than you would expect. Because she was the bully, I could correct the issue. I can’t control someone else’s kid when I’m not around.”


“My eldest daughter, a few years ago (she was nine), decided to hang around with the wrong crowd. After a week or so, her mother and I got a call to come in for a chat, and we learned that she’d been joining in the bullying of another girl in the same class and how the other girl had ended up breaking down in tears at the thought of going to school. 

“When we got her home that afternoon, my daughter and I had a brief discussion about respect and morality (read: I asked her if she’d enjoy receiving the same treatment she’d been giving, elaborating somewhat on the details). After crying herself to sleep that night, she woke up early and spent two hours making an apology card.”


“My niece recently got in huge trouble when it was discovered she was bullying a first grader. The school called one day and told my brother and his fiancé. When my brother found out, he was really disappointed in her since she’s been bullied, he’s been bullied and it’s something they bonded over and talked about a year or so ago. She was apathetic to the whole thing which really made my brother angry, so she’s grounded for the next while. She immediately started crying, wailing, throwing a temper tantrum, you name it.”


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“Recently I got a call from my daughters teacher, she is nine-years-old. Apparently her and another girl drew a picture of one of their classmates who was bragging to them earlier that day about ‘not wearing a bra’ - they drew a picture of this girl with ‘boobies’ and put things like ‘letting it all hang out’ and ‘just want to show it all’. I was so very disappointed in my daughter.

“She is USUALLY the most kind-hearted kid I know. I couldn’t believe she participated in such a thing. When she got home I asked her if this girl who she drew pictures of was her friend, when she said yes. I said well do you think her mum will want to let her come over and play with you after you drew pictures of her like that? Shamefully she said no, that she wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to let her. At first I thought she was upset cause she knew I’d be pissed and she would be in trouble but at the end of it I think she realised that it was not okay.”


“In kindergarten, my daughter’s teacher approached me after school one day when I was picking her up. She said how normally my kid was helpful and fun, etc. But today she seemed distant and kicked another child during a colouring. I told the teacher that her mum and I had just separated and that I was thankful for her telling me.

“On our walk home my daughter and I had a really long chat about things at home, her mum, me, life in general. She had lots of questions and we hashed everything out. Next day, she got her little gold stars for good behavior and we haven’t looked back.”



“I received a call from another parent when my daughter was in third grade. Apparently, she and a few other girls started a ‘mean girls’ club. They hung out in the bathroom at lunch and refused to let this little girl join. They also refused to let other little girls use ‘their’ bathroom. I called the other mums and let them know what our daughters were doing, and I also talked with my daughter about being a nice girl, who people like and respect, vs. being a mean girl who people hate and make fun of behind her back.

“I then drove home the grossness of hanging out in a bathroom of all places. The club disbanded, and I made a point of inviting the little girl over quite often. The other mums did similar things, and she became part of the friend group. I still tease her about her little club occasionally.”


“My teenage boys were driving past an apartment building yelling at kids. They were being d**ks. I would not have known if someone hadn’t posted about it in the town’s Facebook page. I privately messaged the mum of the child they were shouting at. I then drove them to the building and made them apologise, in front of his parents and grandmother. They were unable to go to town without adult supervision for a few weeks. I was not amused.”