The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
haaate that couch sleepy does not transfer to bed sleepy
— angela wheezy (@carpeangela) December 10, 2023
on extreme home makeover a kid would make a comment like “elephants are cool” & theyd be like “elephants are everything to this kid. theyre his passion. dude is an absolute freak for elephants. the room should look like he lives inside an elephant colon”
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) December 14, 2023
happy stylish but illegal monkey day to all those who celebrate pic.twitter.com/Ss8Ss5arUE
— mar (@itsmariannnna) December 9, 2023
when someone goes “oh so-and-so had nice things to say about you” it’s like omg great can you describe their precise phrasing & tone in excruciating detail, and can you tell me what was said before and after, characterize the general mood of the conversation, and also-
— bella (@earlygirl__) December 13, 2023
girls night conversation agenda pic.twitter.com/SxCQBtZWI9
— delia (@delia_cai) December 14, 2023
mom egot-ed today (commented on my weight, job, relationship and finances)
— mia not goth (@miasommar) December 9, 2023
me spending $200 on scented candles: wooooooo
— trash jones (@jzux) December 14, 2023
me spending $200 on health insurance: i will never financially recover from this
Recently I learned that 50% of men surveyed believe they could land a commercial aircraft in an emergency and knowing this is helping me understand a lot of the emails I get at work.
— feminist next door (@emrazz) December 11, 2023
don’t know if this guy meant gestures or just really likes miniature clowns pic.twitter.com/FBztBMzdmE
— 𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖊 (@valkalrie) December 10, 2023
my brain 8am-11pm: too tired to think
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) December 11, 2023
my brain 11:01pm-4am: how do lobsters breathe
me adding wet food to my dog’s dry food because he feels comfortable complaining despite being literally on sale at the humane society pic.twitter.com/7LsgJYj7WB
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) December 14, 2023
how am i supposed to clean out my closet when i am a bitch and a lover and a child and a mother and a sinner and a saint? all those bitches need outfits
— Lane Moore📚 (@hellolanemoore) December 12, 2023
"Babe wait till you see this it's a rainforest AND a cafe.... all in one" https://t.co/DBCdzwPN2h
— laura not lauren (@mslauramac) December 11, 2023
one time someone said being a journalist is like choosing to do homework every day for the rest of your life and I'm still thinking about it
— Fortesa Latifi (@hifortesa) December 12, 2023
cousins as a concept is so crazy to me. Some of them are babies and some are 50? And they are called the same thing?? It’s not right
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) December 14, 2023
Me trying to catch up and respond to every tiktok my friend sends me
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) December 14, 2023
pic.twitter.com/mINvhVb6Z9
very special time of year (I'm on the verge of getting sick of the breakfast food I've been eating every single day for the past few months and will now have to find a new one to eat every day for another few months until i get sick of it)
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 11, 2023
Did you happen to lose a gigantic bag of carrots on the streets of NYC? Because I found it. pic.twitter.com/CHvxjMqwep
— Maureen Langloss (@MaureenLangloss) December 13, 2023
is there a name for when you feel like you have senioritis except all the time about everything
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) December 12, 2023
My 2023 year-in-review: pic.twitter.com/gy8CSciM10
— Kimberly 🧜🏻♀️ Dinaro💲 (@KimberlyDinaro) December 14, 2023
let’s play 21 questions! first question, are you mad at me?
— 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 (@prettytheyswag) December 9, 2023
I love in cult documentaries when you can tell the former members are still kinda into it
— meg “Yooper” bitchell (@MeganBitchell) December 12, 2023
thinking about when I visited LA at 16 and tried to take tumblr photos in front of this “aesthetic blue building” pic.twitter.com/lhdrNFNoHe
— elizabeth clayton 🤓 (@elizardbethc) December 9, 2023
rudolph being asked to guide santa's sleigh pic.twitter.com/YVGHXJkVOP
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) December 10, 2023
just went on a date with a guy whose job was to light the Rockefeller tree. is this my Hallmark Christmas movie moment??
— Sara Schonfeld (@SaraSchon) December 9, 2023
You are gorgeoussss but you look scared for your life with whoever is driving 😭 https://t.co/KNd8bTjcB5
— t. 🧑🏾🎄 (@_blkhoney) December 13, 2023
When I was a freshman in college I was in a very loose situationship that didn’t go anywhere bc I was scared of intimacy and the 1 time we were alone in his room we just laid next to each other while I recapped a YouTube documentary about gay frogs and neither of us made a move
— sandhya (@dollarbillbluez) December 13, 2023
yes, drag her!!!! https://t.co/CzpNtRjLbX
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) December 10, 2023
3-7 cookies a day keeps the mental illness away
— Victoria Paris (@VictoriaParis) December 14, 2023
I learned Kylie Jenner owns a pack of Italian greyhounds. Timothée is simply joining the kennel. pic.twitter.com/okkdmzchOy
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) December 14, 2023
Every month or so, I have this epiphany that “oh my whole life could be great, all I have to do is start waking up at 6 AM and working out and completely change my entire personality and worldview” and then I don’t do any of that
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) December 14, 2023