David Cameron pays his taxes. What does he want, a round of applause? Tory MPs in defence of their premier last night took to Twitter to almost congratulate a man for saying he pays tax. What a guy, what a hero.
Am I missing something? Applauding such mediocrity seems unusual. Are we now to expect celebrations because he can tie his shoe laces or that he can grow hair. He's not a toddler, he's the sodding Prime Minister. Later I shall take to the streets of Yardley and hand out gold star stickers to all the people in the local Tesco, "well done Barbara, lovely tax-paying you did there while buying that curling iron, you really are a very good girl."
So David Cameron's dad didn't pay his fair share of taxes. The sins of Cameron's dad are not his fault. True, but the Government are no strangers to damning the children of people who they think aren't doing their bit for society. Barnardo's, the Child Poverty Action Group and many others have all said that the Conservative Welfare and Work Bill will make poor children poorer. Policies such as only paying tax credits to the first two children in a family directly penalise children for the decisions of their parents. So in Tory Britain poor kids are paying the price for the actions of their parents but David Cameron doesn't have to?
The Tories want taxpayers to hate people on benefits and be annoyed that we are paying for their lifestyle, I think it was IDS referred to as, "a direction which divides society". To use the words of the Prime Minister, 'let me be clear': The sins of Daddy Cameron were not illegal but they are utterly disgusting. They are worse than the sins of fathers up and down the country who can't find work, even the most feckless amongst them.
People who don't pay their taxes are robbing from us all. The Camerons may well have forked out for education and health services, but it was my money that trained the doctors, nurses and teachers they used. Without the taxpayer the posh who jump the queue would just be sitting in a rather nicely decorated room without the staff to actually deliver the service. Every time Cameron Snr drove his car on a public highway, every time he could see on the street because of a streetlight, every day when there was a pavement outside his house and a regular bin collection, he took money from you, the nation's honest taxpayers, without seeing fit to put his hand in his pocket. And while the Camerons had a bob or two I doubt very much they funded their own private police force and army. I mean the Eton set are a bit old fashioned but think the acts of livery and maintenance is a step to far even for them. So they got the security we all enjoy but it was you footing the bill, not daddy darling.
What makes it worse is that they got the best of everything while you paid the tab. They reaped the benefits of your hard toil, and because they had money to spare they got the best education, smaller class sizes, better service. Their kids got privilege that you paid for but never benefited from.
So David Cameron doesn't need our praise for paying his tax. He's not a very clever boy, he's a very average boy who used privilege rather than brains to get where he got. Perhaps we could all buy our babies a better life if only we weren't burdened with being decent human beings.
Jess Phillips is the Labour MP for Birmingham Yardley